Our Secret
We have a secret.
It’s a room that we have never shown on the blog before.
Mostly because we hate it and can’t wait till the day that we can afford to rip it all out and start over.
It’s name is our Master Bathroom.
Let’s just say that you were sitting on my side of the bed (apparently we just became REALLY close), you would be able to see right inside our loo.
Why do you get an unobstructed view of the loo?
It’s because the room….the hideous pain in my retinas….is without a door.
We took it off because it opened into the bathroom…only to hit the other door for the closet….and that’s if you don’t hit the person standing in front of the mirror first.
Needless to say, if one of us needs to GO TO THE BATHROOM, the other person has to leave the bedroom entirely. We are weird like that. There was a time we risked it and attempted an open-door policy….let’s just say that I do not ever recommend this. It can ruin your perception of your mate….your quality of attraction can shrivel up to a near-death state and the entire experience can singe the hairs in your nose. And that’s not even mentioning the vomit.
Oh the vomit….
So now that you know we have a secret room…I figured we should just put it all out there. Let it all hang out. Let my shame see the light of the universe. It’s not that bad in the photos afterall.
When we bought the house, the entire room was wallpapered with pink hideous acid-washed paper. Again, they must have been smokin dope. Either that or they were blind. I can come up with no other explanation. We ripped out most of it but you can still see little remnants that got stuck behind our countertop.
And that mauve countertop?
Yeah. classy.
We tried to tone it down by using $5 Oops paint to make the walls uber-neutral. But alas, there are some things that can not be neutralized.
And the entire space is really very limited…so it functions more as a one person room. The tiny mirror is just enough for me to see my giant head.
And on the other side of the old vanity is the toilet. Above the 1970′s toilet (thank Goodness it is white!) we installed a little rack we registered for at Target when we got married. It holds a little basket of girl-toiletries and some cute green glass knicknacks we got at Pier1.
And speaking of baskets – we also have a Pottery Barn basket on the floor for me to stash a couple ads or old magazines. Just beware if you come over our house – some of the magazines have been in the bathroom. (Seinfield anyone?)
Across from the sink is our 1 man shower and a closet. Well, it used to be a closet…complete with door…but we decided to make it look more like built in shelves by tearing out the door and installing drywall and a curtain. The curtain is great because we can just whip it closed anytime our shelving becomes a little messy. Or a lot messy. It’s usually the latter.
And since we only have one functional towel rack, this hook was just the thing to allow another area for towels to hang dry.
But the worst part?
Yeah…the absolute worst part about this room is the shower. The previous owners decided to tile it themselves and when they did, they must have used old grout. It literally crumbles out of the grooves. This is actually a picture of the floor when it was SCRUBBED. It always has these grout lines that are hideously black…making it look just filthy.
It’s enough to make you avoid cleaning your own grooves…if you know what I mean.
We often say that we want to redo the space but it is quite expensive to redo an entire bathroom. But that doesn’t stop me from dreaming about a makeover…complete with an expanded shower and non-mauve countertops…maybe even a little pocket door.
So how bout it? Pretty bad huh? What’s worse – that grout failure or that countertop mistake? Or maybe you can totally trump my little secret loo with a bathroom that is really hideous? Or perhaps your shame lies in an office or kitchen or really hideous bedroom? Go on and describe the worst room in your own home. Please do share – misery loves company 
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Oh Katie, your bathroom is a palace compared to our upstairs bath! (We don’t have a master one.) Trust me, it’s at least three times the size of ours. We had “hoped” to be able to replace the shower with a bathtub, but found out that since we would have to move the loo to do it, it would cost $10K. Not happening. So we’ll have to settle for a smaller vanity (so your knees don’t hit it when you go potty) to open it up. That and radiant flooring (less than $200 for 20 sq ft – the ONLY advantage of a small bathroom) with new tile. Oh, and we need a fan! So I really think your bathroom is GREAT looking! Who cares about the maroon counter? I’ve seen much, much worse! But I think you’re funny about the no open door policy. We never close ours. :=)
I think you should be applauded for what you have done with the bathroom–I know I’ve seen worse.
I’m planning on painting our master suite and I love the colors you have on the walls in your bathroom and bedroom. Would you mind sharing?
Our whole house is one giant before but the bathroom is pretty spectacular. Around the tub is a single row of 4×4″ white tiles. The REST of the bathroom is done in laminate floor tiles. And I don’t mean of the peel-&-stick variety. Think more along the lines of elementary school, church rec room, or old day care facility. Oh! And their crumbling. Forgot that tiny little detail. So whenever you walk into the bathroom, you get pieces of plastic crumblies stuck to the bottom of your feet. Ick.
Doesn’t look to bad to me. But then, I’m a guy.
We’ve been in our house for more than a year and we don’t yet have a door to the _main bedroom_. And it’s off the living room. So there.
Our kitchen was by far the worst room in our house. Talk about white overload!! Too neutral can be a bad thing
I swear!
Here’s a post a did a few months ago of the improvements we’ve made. They’re still on going, though.
http://theproudfeet.blogspot.com/2009/04/kitchen-from-then-to-now.html
Katie, you might try looking for salvage stores in and around your area if you’ve not already. We have a place called Home Emporium here in VA, and they sell cabinetry, granite, sinks, faucets, tile, etc. for a lot cheaper than stores. Places like that are awesome if available, and if you have a good eye (which you do) at pulling things together.
Also, if you do want to do a cosmetic update to hold you over, I’d suggest instead of painting over crappy grout that you have Jeremy remove the grout, and re-grout. Some elbow grease and $30 bucks could give you several years of not HAVING to do a big fix.
I’m glad to see someone else shares my views about bathroom privacy – I always feel like I’m some kind of ultra-prude! Anyway, I agree with Rhey’s suggestion of putting a curtain in the doorway. Also, Jen? Carpet on the walls is horrid indeed, but we once looked at a house that had deep blue shag carpet on the bathroom floor and GOING UP THE SIDE OF THE TUB. And that wasn’t even the worst thing about that house.
Our master bathroom is also due for an overhaul
but it’s not quite as bad as yours. Our house was built in 2004 so it’s not outdated, just not our style.
Oh, and I’m with you on the, uh, privacy during certain acts. I’ve been with my hubby for almost 15 years (awww, high school sweethearts) and that’s one thing we DON’T need to know about each other.
Katie, I have a secret too. And I’m so ashamed of it!!! I, too, have a beast of a bathroom like you in my new house that i’m renovating. It’s “U-G-L-Y, YOU AIN’T GOT NO ALIBI” ugly!! Think, green toilet, sink, AND TUB, with pink and black tiles! Yah, the previous homeowner’s were smokin’ crack lol. If you want to see what I’m talking about…take a look at it on my blog http://homeat6.wordpress.com/2010/01/14/this-bathroom-stinks-not-literally/
xoxo – N
Katie – yeah, that counter is preeeettty bad. WHAT were they thinking? My friend has a horror room: Her ex-husband started renovating their sole bathroom and ripped out the shower. He got tired of it, and gave up. He taped the old shower to the wall with duct tape. He also said he fixed the leak in the wall . . . He then left her and took all her money. And oops – he didn’t get the leak fixed. So there’s a hole in her wall where things leaked and rotted the structure. 4 years later she’s still duct-taping the shower, saving money and hoping to have the bathroom redone this spring.
All that being said, good for you for not spending money on “cheap fixes” and just saving towards the ultimate goal instead! I think that’s a smart move. . . one that I may not have had the patience to do!
Oh Katie! I’m a regular reader who had to come out of my lurker state to make you feel better about how “bad” your bathroom is!
When we bought our house 2.5 years ago, the 1970′s turquoise tiles were accented by turquoise walls, CEILING & turquoise linoleum. When we met the previous owner, he proudly proclaimed he was going for the “monocromatic look”. Uh, thanks for that info. Our only saving grace was that a new pedistal sink & new toilet had been installed. So we painted the walls & ceiling white (4 painstaking coats, I might add), changed out the faucet, mirror and light fixture, and added white linens, window treatments & shelving/cabinets. We’re still living with the blue tile (which will likely stay since this isn’t our permanent home). And the kicker to all of this is that while fixing a wobbly sink 2 weeks ago, we unveiled BEAUTIFUL white tile under our manky blue floor…leading us to believe that the previous owner was a tad delusional. Don’t even get me started on the black linoleum he put over our wainscotting on the kitchen walls…another story, another day!
This is funny. Just the other day I was in my bathroom (in serious need of decorating) and I was thinking… I’m going to look at KB’s bathroom online and see if she has any ideas. I think your blog is a good resource for all things decor. But when I thought about it i realized, there is no master bath photo on your website! Now I know why! LOL.
I think if you can’t change it for now, embrace it. My hubby and I lived in this ugly-a apartment on Long Island when we were first married. The bathroom had a pink toilet, tub, sink and floor! It was built in the 70′s, they were probably high when they picked them out. And the walls were sponge painted grey. If you stood in there too long you’d get dizzy. I had to pay my landlord an additional security deposit to paint it but it was worth it. We actually painted the walls this fleshy pink color that sort of downplayed the rest of the pink. With all brown accents. It wasn’t that bad. Man I wish I could show you pictures of it. It was SO ugly!
My husband and I don’t go to the bathroom in front of each other either, but we had a baby girl two weeks ago and I lost all my dignity! When your in the hospital doctors and nurses will do ANYTHING in front of your husband! I won’t go into details, but going into labor, giving birth, and the next few days in the hospital are really gross and it’s like they wanted my husband to watch everything!
I was just thinking, maybe you could hang a curtain from the outside of the bathroom doorway for the time being, until you can add a pocket door. This might help with the privacy issue.
Katie. Honey. You have no idea how good you have it. Our master bathroom is 5 x 8!!! No lie. I mean, who in their right mind makes a MASTER BATH 5×8????? I would send pics of it but it’s just a pile of rubble right now. We started demo but then got sidetracked by our kitchen.
We did however finish our hall bath that had puke-inducing 50′s mint, pink AND peach tiles. Here’s the before and almost finished after. I havent posted the latest pics but it’s finally done.
http://www.roomzaar.com/rate-my-space/Bathrooms/From-Gross-to-Gorgeous/detail.esi?oid=7246899
I totally feel your pain, KB! My husband and I are deep in the process of redoing our basement, which was just as poorly designed/constructed/cleanable as your bath. Feel free to follow us along on the journey – your tiling tips are sure to come in handy as we reinstall the bathroom.
And best wishes on Baby Boy Bower!
http://bschoolstudio.blogspot.com/search/label/basement
Hi Katie! How ironic that you are posting about your bathroom – I was finally brave enough to start posting about our work-in-progress bathroom disaster. Check it out http://sohldesign.blogspot.com/2010/01/bathroom-to-be.html (you and I “met” the other day). I can’t WAIT for it to be done. I have such high hopes for this new (small) space. I’ll keep you posted on how it turns out…if and when that happens! Your bathroom really doesn’t look that bad, but I know what you mean about certain things grossing you out! We are trying to do as much of it ourselves as we can, with much inspiration from John & Sherry. Ours is almost the same setup as theirs. I do like how you dressed up what you have and made the space look so cute for now!
oohm yeah the countertop is a hot mess, but i say that with love
these were all choices made by the previous owner so it’s all good…i actually wish our master bathroom was larger.it’s the only real complaint i have in our 2 month old house. it is too a one person room, but i am in love with our tub so i guess its even stevens! keep up the great work
Oh, I feel your pain! We have just started (as in this weekend) on fixing up our master bath. Not redoing, just fixing up. Our walls are currently the color mustard poo (you’ll know what I mean when the baby comes). The rusting sink, shower and toilet match the walls. The cabinet is literally rotting away from an unfixed water leak (previous owner’s fault). We’re fixing up the bathroom on a major budget, so we should have it decent enough in say, 2012. Don’t even get me started on the floors…
Completely understand about the door issue! We have a 4 foot wide bathroom, and the door opens into the bathroom, blocking 1/2 of the vanity. We tried sans door, but you’re right – no bathroom doors can make a marriage shrivel up and die.
As bad as our respective “before” bathrooms look, just think how awesome it will make our “after” bathrooms appear!
We…have…carpet. In our master bathroom. Yep. Carpet. My husband and I bought our house in September and have agreed not to do anything to it till we get our tax credit. It’s getting really difficult! I should post photos, but I’m just going to tell you about it. Our home was built in 1985, and has all the original “features.” The carpet in the bathroom (who in their right mind puts carpeting in the bathroom?! **In their defense, it was an elderly couple…) is beige, and it’s turning yellow in front of the shower. Thanks to my 17 week old pitbull/american bulldog puppy, I’m not able to put down rugs, and the carpet around the toilet is prematurely being ripped up. Go, buddy, go! See, he even knows how bad it is! The shower is like a closet, and has seen better days. And we don’t have much storage for linens. Other than that (ugh) we’re lucky; the vanity is decent (original, but decent) with a whole wall mirror (dated, but makes the bathroom look larger). And it’s painted white, which is easy to live with for the time being.
We are dreaming of re-doing that bathroom…along with the kitchen….
**I also love the color of your bedroom. And just remember, your bathroom doesn’t have carpet!! I’ll trade you for the linoleum!
We are in the exact same place with our master bath….it really really needs a reno but it is just too expensive right now to start the project. We had mauve counter tops in our kitchen so I so feel your pain on that one. The one brightside of that…it makes for good party conversation after you get rid of it:).
our hall bath is terrible! we have the lovely black grout lines as well. I think the previous owner tried to cover them up by caulking OVER the mold. sounds healthy, right??
Your bathroom is so much better than mine! I too am dreaming of what a beautiful bathroom I could have! Beautiful counter tops and shower, a toilet that isn’t yellow (better than a pink toilet I guess), and real tile instead of laminate. Oh to dream!