Creating Community
It’s not something I talk a lot about…but it is something I think about. Creating community. And it’s tough.
Sure, in the age of Facebook and Instagramliciousness and Tweeter (or whatever it’s called), it’s really easy to know other people’s business. I could know what Betty Sue Welker’s two-year-old was doing with that bottle of moisturizer and the cat and what she thought of Magic Mike’s opening scene…but real community? The kind that you can sit and share and celebrate the parts of you and others that make you laugh or cry or whatever, really interacting with flesh-n-blood people? I feel like there is a loss of that these days. I know the info. I wanna know how my friends sound when they giggle…or miss their family…or how they cheer on their kids. It’s like the in Blast from the Past when the couple finally gets out of the bomb shelter and finally is able to look out from their porch and see all of Pasedena. It’s the same….but it’s so so different.
Maybe it’s because I was homeschooled. Maybe it’s because at my very core, I am a simple girl who stays at home with a toddler all day. Maybe it’s because I thrive off just a smidge of social interaction. Whatever the reason…I feel a need for community in my very bones.
And that is the sole reason why I wanted to start a play group. That and I am too cheap to join the ones that charge ya $30 a month just to hang out at a fast food joint or visit the fire station.
I confessed to my mom that I really wanted to start one….just a gathering of women and their kids….and she, being the awesome mother that she is, really encouraged me. She was a stay-at-homie with four kids, so I think she really understands that feeling of loneliness and isolation that can come with being chained to your diaper bag. She quickly volunteered her services as music teacher if I started a play group.
You guys should know – if kids were dogs, my mom is like the meat truck. They are drawn to her. And she was thrilled to be able to put together thirty minute sessions once a week and lead us in song (it’s a mommy&me kinda class for the four and unders – but all ages are welcome!).
A few of y’all have asked about how to start one of these play groups…so that is what this post is about. Here is just some rough info on what we do…obviously, I would be thrilled if others started groups. Everyone needs community. It’s a fact. If you feel called in your heart to start one, I encourage you to start small and just be consistent….it’s really not a numbers thing…it’s a connection thing.
We start off inside in our basement. We have an old remnant piece of carpet that we tore outta the Jack room and saved for…well…whatever. Now we use it to cush the tush during the music class. My mom leaves her small box of props in the basement. They are all homemade visual aides for the class and a few fun things like scarves and feathers for the kids to use.
Anyone could lead music class as long as you have the words to some simple songs and a no fear of singing in public 
After music class is over, usually we put the snack out on the table leading to the backyard. It’s nice to have it inside (in case of bugs)…and all the kids just take a plate and their food and go outside to eat.
I don’t bake snacks. Usually another mom volunteers….and I happily accept whatever they bring (secretly praying it’s either porky or carby!). I do provide water or lemonade for all the moms….and the cups and plates and whatever serving stuff the guests need.
I am loving the big table outside…the kids can gather around that to eat if they want…
Or we just use it for craft time. I also don’t organize that.
This craft was awesome because Jessica brought everything the kids needed and all of them loved it (ages 1 thru 9)….probably because it was messy. Kids love messy crafts, don’t they?
I keep a stash of stuff right near the back door. Jer’s parents were getting rid of this old tv unit and I jumped on it. Now it holds all the play group gear….including the most important and used item – scissors. Something has gotta open the popsicles
Speaking of popsicles…it’s always a good idea to have a bin for toys….a cooler for waters and popsicles….a place for kids to sit and a trash can.
I also love being able to use our new furniture for lounging with the other moms. After craft is over, we sit and talk while the kids run amok. It’s pretty amazing to use words like “agenda” and “workload” and “circumvent” with people who understand them…
Excuse the photos…they were taken as I decorated for the Tuesday play group before fourth of July. Hence the immense feeling of pledging allegience you have right now.
One of the biggest hits we’ve had is just pulling out the hose and the sprinkler. It is like a magnet for kids of all ages. None of the activities are a big deal or overly planned or extravagant. Children are simple…and they just want to be together.
I tell the moms that they can bring lunch if they want or they can stay as long as they want…it’s really flexible. Most times, it lasts from 10ish to 12:30ish….one is like the universal naptime…so most people head home after that. And it truly is low-maintenance. Once a week I vaccuum the basement rug and clean the bathroom and spray down the eating areas. Other than that, I chuck the trash and provide water and popsicles…and toilet paper….I should be clear on that But really the thirty minutes of prep work is well worth the company of friends.
Overall – I think it’s a great start to creating community. I have to work on making sure people know about it and remind folks (I’m absolutely horrendous about reminders). But in my heart, I know that I don’t wanna raise Will without a group that loves him. Afterall – people are the sugar in our popsicle of life
Katie, I so understand what you mean by needing a sense of community. I am a new stay at home mom, and I feel you when you say you just stay at home with a toddler all day and how lonely that can be. You’ve definitely inspired me to step out of my comfort zone and meet other moms in our community. Not to be weird, but I think we’d be great friends if we lived closer.
Are you taking applications?
What a wonderful thing! How great for all of the kids to get to do a music class and interact with a diverse group of other kids. Since moving to ATL 3 years ago, it still seems the only people I hang out with are co-workers. It is hard to find other like minded friends and mommies, but like you said, playgrounds are a great place to meet others. What a wonderful hostess you are – fun times!
This is great…I love that you have such a big variety of ages, too. They inadvertently teach each other things (most of it good!).
I couldn’t agree more! I am a transplant in my state and I have a 4 month old daughter. I’m trying desperately to start playgroups here, but I keep hitting dead ends. For example, I went to one at a local family center today and I was the only one in attendance. From what my friends tell me, they just aren’t that common here. So sad! I applaud you starting one and I think your kids will love it to- I know I still have fond memories of mine, and some of our closest family friends are the families of the children in my sister’s playgroup. Bravo!
Sweet Katie,
I really enjoy your blog, but just wanted to say that you struck a cord with this post.
God bless you and your family
All the best,
georgia
Isn’t it sad that you have to pay tons of money to socialize??? It’s crazy!!!! I love that you are able to have a group like this. Moms need to vent/use big words/feel connected and kids need to have time away from mama too! Congrats on a wonderful idea! Once we find a home with, well a back yard and extra space, I’d love to start a group like this! Thanks for the tips and inspiration!!
Awww! It looks like the kiddies are having so much fun! I wish that I lived in the area so my daughter and I could come play
Canada is a bit of a commute…
Great post! I’m totally with you on how important community is. It’s so important for adults too, not just kids. My husband and I actually found new jobs so we could move to be near a church that we grew to love in college because of the sense of community the church has. The church has a lot of “com groups” (com is short for community) to go to and it makes such a huge difference when you have fellow believers to live life with and be real with…ya know not just put on a face Sunday morning, but really be real with each other…the good, the bad, and the ugly
I can’t tell you how much it has blessed my marriage and friendships around us. And I look forward to passing that sense of community on to our kids one day! Thanks for the reminder 
Oh my. This is totally up my alley. One) I deleted my fb account for multiple reasons but one of them was so that I would force myself to reach out to people and interact, face to face. Two) I started a Friday morning playgroup with 7 other moms (we have 16 kids between us) and I love it! It’s just during the summer when a lot of the mom’s have the day off but I plan a new outing each week and I try to make it as cheap as possible while still being really fun. It’s so fun to see the kids’ friendships forming and a deeper connection with us, as moms. Love to hear of other moms reaching out to each other and finding new ways to connect! Way to use what God has blessed you with Katie!
Thanks for sharing this! I am moving to a new neighborhood and would love to organize something like this to meet the neighbors and create some fellowship that I have always craved. As a working mom, I don’t really get to connect that much with other moms that I don’t work with and have been craving something lately, well always.
Thanks for the idea! I love this.
So this has nothing to do with your play group (although I think it is an awesome idea and something I hope I can have when we have kids), BUT I LOVE your outdoor furniture. I know that you made the long table, but where did you get the two chairs and the loveseat? That is exactly what I am looking for for our patio. If you could fill me in I would love you forever…OK, I’ll probably love you forever anyways because I am already hooked on your blog!
It’s our new patio furniture from Target. Here is the link to the post about it!
xo – kb
Thanks Katie!!
Heck, I am local to you and want to come to play group…and I don’t have children! I LOVE doing crafts and games and things like that with my niece, but she if 4 hours away.
she IS 4 hours away. I cannot type today.
haha…I know. I was like that too before Will. Of course, a playgroup would have been difficult to get out of work for
xo – kb
katie—
as a mom who enjoyed the benefits of a great playgroup, you have no idea how much these woman will mean to you as your child becomes school age. i have an amazing resource in these woman. they will become your pta friends and probably lifelong friends!
I think you are doing a fabulous job Katie! Creating a community is so important. I remember when we were kids (computer hasn’t taken over yet) we’d play outside for hours upon hours and now….kids are so glued to the computer/tv….which isn’t necessarily a good thing. You and other moms out there taking the initiative to create a great community w/ kids is really wonderful. Keep it up hun!
This is…well, awesome. Your comments about community are right on point. I would love to organize something like this but for us it’s a question of time. Not to get on the “I’m so busy train” but between school, teaching, gigging and a full-time working husband, it’s been a little preoccupying. Also, we moved to AZ after living in Germany for 8 years and one of the problems with living off post is that it’s hard to meet people, specifically people with little people in tow. Our non-military neighbors are fine, but they don’t want to get attached because they know we’re leaving. Our church is fantastic, but there aren’t a lot of little kids. Any chance I can live vicariously through someone else and you invite a military mama who lives off-post to your group? Have all the fun-ness in the world!
Long time reader seldom commenter. Just wanted to say even as a non-mom, single reader you’ve made me feel very inspired this morning. Most of my friends are the more traditional married with kids type and I’ve often thought it’d be nice to have some ppl to interact with that have situations similar to mine. I’m just gonna go for it…put a post out for a social group! Thanks.
My mother and a group of her friends did this back when my younger siblings were little. It was every Friday morning from 9am-11:30am and they always let us older kids come on Fridays we had off and lead the art portion. I LOVED that part.
They ended up “renting” a seniors community space that was happy to give it to them for Friday mornings if they helped with the upkeep. I think they all put in like 5 bucks a month towards cleaning supplies, etc and took turns bringing in crafts and snacks. They even had big buckets of toys that people with older children donated (or cheap finds from garage sales). They did a bi-monthly “toy cleaning party”where they got together on a Friday night (just the moms), drank wine, ate potluck and cleaned toys.
I know that all my siblings and my mom really loved those Friday mornings (and my mom loved those Friday night gabfests!). My brother even met his best friend there (when they were both still in the womb!) and they are now at the same university together – still friends all these years.
Fantastic idea, Katie! I have been enjoying reading your blog for a while now but have never commented. I just thought this post deserved a comment! I’m so looking forward to things like this once I have children of my own! Great job, and you have the perfect home/basement/yard for a whole bunch of kids!
wish I still lived in Georgia … 
This was a great article. I live in a new city with zero family and little friends (what I would do to have a family like yours and have them so near!). I’m a stay at home mom too and feel so very lonely and isolated. We live in a small house with a small yard so having play dates at our home really isn’t a possibility. Will is very lucky to have you, your family, and that gorgeous home!
I love this idea/post! I definatley agree, what happened to people spending time with their neighbors/friends in person and not over the text of social media.
I have been missing that interaction as well lately. I am not a stay at home mom, but I am a stay at home employee….and while its nice to take conference calls and conduct meetings over the phone or webcam I miss the interaction of other people. My 4 yr old is in preschool but when she comes home she wants to play with other kids…but all the kids stay inside! What happened to kids playing outside, riding bikes, ringing doorbells and running???
Anyway, this is a great great idea. If Alpharetta (where we live) isnt too far from you, please invite me to your next community gathering – LOL!!
That looks like so much fun. I love having mommy groups. So impressed you’re keeping it up while pregnant!
Good for you Katie! Looks like a great time : )
ryanres1
I just got a new job and munchkin and I are moving almost 400 miles away from GA…Not sure how much time I will have with the new job plus munchkin starts kindergarten a week after we get there. If I think too much about leaving all my friends and family I get massive anxiety. We literally don’t know a soul! I will have to look for a mom group that meets on weekends. Thanks for the pick me up Katie:-)
I may love our playgroup more than my kids! I think I’ve read before you live in Georgia? My SIL is moving there next week….north, her husband is starting a new job as a soccer coach at “Young Harris College?” She has 1yr old twins and is looking to meet other moms. Are you anywhere near?
Unfortunately no. I think Young Harris is about two hours at least from here
xo – kb
Thanks for the reply!
So awesome that you posted about this! My mom-and-baby and now mom-and-tot playgroups have made this experience for me in so many ways. Your playgroup looks awesome– and as many times as you said that it’s casual, it seems much more organized than ours. We need to start doing more planned activities I think!
I can totally relate to missing connection in this day and age. I work evenings and weekends while most of my friend work the normal 9-5er, so my off time can get pretty lonely. I really love that you took this into your own hands and created a wonderful time.
and also, your patio area is perfection.. I think i’d leave all the patriotic-ness ALL the time it’s that cute.
First off, I have extreme yard envy. SO MUCH SPACE!!! But anyways, you should think about getting a trampoline one day. They are amazing! And on hot days, you throw in a sprinkler with it and it will be like you struck kid-busy-forever gold! I have four boys (10,6,4,1) and it keeps the top 3 busy for FOREVER! And FYI- You can score one on Black Friday/Thanksgiving Thursday evening for like half the normal price for future reference. Thanks so much for putting so much time into such a fun blog!
I love trampolines…hopefully one day!
xo – kb
Hey Katie,
I just want to let you know that you really inspire me. You inspire me to craft, take more pictures of my son (even when he isn’t doing anything), and just slow down and enjoy the moment. Also, you have shown me to enjoy my family more (no matter how crazy they are), to laugh more, to love my husband more (even when we fight) and to just love the world more. This post just shows how good of a person you are I feel like you should hear it more often! We are getting ready to buy our first home and love everything you do and are taking a lot of ideas that you have done in the past. I can’t wait till it is complete so we can also have our very own home.
Now let’s count how many times I typed “more”
Xo Melissa
Aww thanks Melissa. You are so sweet! Totally made me blush.
xo – kb
Katie…I’m dying to know if you are having a little girl or boy! I’m a month behind you and found out today…so do spill the beans!
Okay, I have to ask because it’s making me crazy!
It’s probably very simple, but I just can’t get it!
A=apple
B=blueberries
C=carrots
D=?????
What was that purpley D???
Dates!
xo – kb
I was going to ask the same thing! Phew, glad I skimmed the other comments first, before losing sleep over those darned dates ;
This is great- I want to join! If you’re looking for more mamas, let me know. I’m outside of Atlanta as well and have a 3 yr old and 10 month old who are very busy and mischevious but very very adorable
Katie,
Are you looking for more people to join? My almost 2 year old son, Noah, and I live not too far from you. I have been searching for something like this for so long!
Karyn
Email me Karyn!
xo – kb
Agreed with all of this! What a great thing to do! How did you get people to come? Is it just all your friends? I wanna come! I have a 20 mo old and im looking for sonethong to do eith hom. And my 5 yr old starts kindergarten this year. I did so much with my older child when he was little, this ones getting the short end of the stick with that sorta thing. is there info for this?
Just friends and friends of friends and word of mouth.
xo – kb
Pretty cool setup for a play group. But how did you actually find the people to go with your setup? Were they all befriended parents before, or did you post online, or what?
Just word of mouth between friends.
xo – kb
That is exactly what I have been craving for – a community!! For my kids as well as for me. That is wonderful to see that you are doing such as great job providing such a cozy place and learning and fun environment for them.
I don’t have children, so I can’t even say I relate to this..but I think your playgroup sounds AWESOME..and Iwanttocome.
I also love your blog but have never commented. I love this idea of creating community. I’m just wondering – how do you go about finding people? Did you put an ad on Craigslist? Put up posters in your community? Or just knew people from church? Once I have my own kiddos, I’d love to do this also, but worry about how to go about inviting people. Thanks!
Just friends of friends, church folks, neighbors, etc.
xo- kb
Such an inspiring post! I’m thinking I might have to try this with the moms from my workout group! Not that you are busy or anything, so any chance you could share more about what you do during the music time? Our group is a bit younger, a bunch of 1 year olds, and I’m looking forward to these little ones growing up together over the next couple years before school.
It’s different each week and honestly I am so not musically inclined…so I couldn’t remember if I tried.
xo – kb
Katie, you are amazing. Has anyone told you that lately? I literally put out a personal ad in our local classifieds looking for other mommas and no one responded. It was humiliating (I mean, really, a personal ad?), but mostly I was sad for my daughter. I remember growing up with a huge group of friends that didn’t go to our school or church and my mom said they created a play group with the women from her Lamaze class she took with my older sister and it just kept growing as they kept popping out babies. How I long for such a sense of community! I told my husband I’m going to try again in a couple months. Why have a homey house (not nearly as large as yours) if we can’t fill it with friends? You have inspired me- it is worth it to not give up!
And can I just tell you, my daughter is getting quite the big head these days. She noticed that you liked a couple pictures of her on Facebook and she said she’s all hot stuff now that such a celeb likes her pics
Don’t give up! We’ve had a week that only one other mom showed up. And we’ve had weeks where my mom runs outta props for the music bit…it’s all varied!
xo – kb
I joined a free site called meetup.com that somebody told me about. It has all kinds of groups (more than just mommy groups). Most of them charge a small fee (ours is $10 a year) to keep the subscription up. But it lets you post meetups (playdates), rsvp, sends reminders. It’s a great service! Especially when you move and have to find a new community.
Ditto everything you said, well done Katie!