Bribery, Coercion, and other Forms of Motivation | Bower Power
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Bribery, Coercion, and other Forms of Motivation

2013 March 25
by Katie

“So how do you get Jeremy to do all those projects around the house?”

“You are so lucky!  How do you convince your husband to renovate your home?” 

“I can’t get my boyfriend to lift a finger around the house…how do you get Jer to do what you want?”

I get asked these questions or some form of them all the time…so I figured it was high time to share my tricks on how I convince Jer to tackle DIY projects and still want to kanoodle me at night.  Please note that Jeremy is one of those rare birds that likes the idea of renovating a home (he doesn’t always like the amount of work that he personally has to invest to get a renovated house…but he likes the idea.)  He is also a big fan of things being neat and tidy…so renovating a room usually means it improves our ‘neat’ factor.  If your man doesn’t care what his living conditions are like…these tips may not work.  This is just a roundup of some of my little methods to get him to say yes to my crazy :)  

  • Show Him Pictures

No, not sexy photos of me in compromising poses…although I’m sure he wouldn’t mind those either…I show Jeremy photos of finished projects that are similar to what I want to tackle.  Most inspiration pictures are available online via Pinterest or magazines or blogs.  Sure, if I wanted a project done, I could take the time to explain things…talk out each detail of the finish and the design and the sources for all the needed materials…I could verbalize (complete with demonstrative hand motions) how high I want the curtains and how the mirror will balance the light on the other side of the room…or how creative a stenciled floor would be if I made my own stencil from fabric…but that’s a whole lotta words.  And in guy language, a whole lotta words usually equals a whole lotta work.  I’ve found that since most guys are visual, I can cut straight to the point and show him the ‘end result’ (or some inspiration that is similar in feel/style/look).   This is enough motivation usually to get him to be on board with tackling a task. 

 

  • Keep The Hatch Closed

When we bought our first house, I walked in and talked about the 1.3 million changes that I wanted to make.  Tear down this wall, move the laundry room, rip out this floor, completely overhaul the kitchen, paint everything.  Without realizing it, I was completely overwhelming my new-to-home-ownership-fiancee.  When I was talking ‘change this and change that’, he heard ‘ca-ching!  ca-ching!’ and ‘there goes your naps, guy time, mountain biking, fantasy football, money and all that time you spent scratching something!”.  Yes, within two minutes, I had not only alienated my future husband but I had put a horrible taste in his mouth about renovations.  That’s when I learned that I needed to keep my big fat mouth shut.  I needed to put myself in his shoes…allowing for balance and downtime.  I realized that his brain didn’t work like mine.  That it wasn’t exciting and thrilling to hear the to-do list.  From then on, I kept my focus on a couple tasks at a time and my pie ice cream hole closed.   

  • Don’t Rush A Good Thing

I know it’s easy to want something done.  like yesterday.  I know that sometimes you just want a project started already.  Believe me.  I’ve lived with my toothpaste colored walls for two years now.  I lived without a kitchen for six weeks when we were renovating it.  And my favorite mantra during that time was “Don’t rush a good thing.”…as in don’t rush the renovation and don’t rush your partner in crime (he’s my ultimate good thing!  I should get points for that one, honey!).  Nagging only makes things worse…not only does it UNmotivate but it separates you from your beloved.  Jeremy has a tendency to think about things for a long time while in the middle of a project.  I tend to rush through something.  Sure, I get it done in a jiffy…but it’s not always right or perfect.  Jeremy takes forever but it is usually right the first time.  Both have their pros and cons.  So I’ve found that when dealing with a project that involves the hubster, letting him work at his own speed is the best bet at keeping the divorce papers off our table and getting the project done with a smile on both our faces…hence willingness to tackle more in the future.       

  • Give Him Choices

My boytoy is like most men out there…he likes his down time. But he is also a fan of helping around the house.  He understands  that our partnership in owning a home means that he has chores too.  So instead of asking him to load the dishwasher, or clean the bathroom, or tidy up his closet, I only ask for DIY related chores.  This doesn’t make it easy by any means…sure, I would love a husband who vaccumed every Saturday or helped me launder all the towels and bedding….but I’d much rather have painted cabinets or painted trim.  So instead of bogging down his free-to-work-around-the-house time with ’maintenance chores’, I keep his weekly list to three or four DIY projects.  Usually that list includes the following….a quick project (one that can be accomplished in less than 15 minutes – like hanging curtain rods)….a long project (something that is an hour or more)….an outdoor project (he likes yard maintenance stuff so this gives him a change of scenery)…and a fun project (this would be demo-ing something or building something or something with instant gratification).  If he doesn’t get them all done in a week…no biggie…but giving him the choice means that he has the power to decide…and if the only thing he does is move a heavy table into another room…well, it’s one less thing on the never-ending list.       

  • Prep It For Them

One of the biggest motivators and biggest helps in a project is to do all the prep work and clean up yourself.  Jeremy doesn’t get a whole lot of time at home each night.  And I would much rather him be playing with the boys than doing my to-do list…so in order to help him accomplish his goals (ahem…our goals :) ), I do most of the prep and clean up.  For example, I wanted the dining room painted.  So for three days straight, I spent the entire nap-time (my only time I don’t have a baby on my boob or helping a toddler onto the toilet or cooking or cleaning) in the dining room.  I taped the windows, the floors, laid paper, hung plastic, bought primer, paint and got all the necessary tools out.  That meant that Jer could spray the room for thirty minutes when he got home.  It meant that I ignored my blog, ignored the phone and facebook and served quicky meals at dinner time and stayed up later to make up for the time spent in the dining room…but to me…it was more than a fair trade.  He just spent an hour in the car and all day at work…so he’s not in the mood either…but in the end, we have a newly painted dining room that we are both really happy with.  It’s like those renovations on HGTV….all the tedious stuff is eliminated…leaving the instant gratification stuff for your viewing pleasure. 

  • DIY

No literally.  Do.  It.  Yourself.  I know this is a tough pill to swallow but I’ve found that 99% of home improvement projects CAN be done by yours truly…or you truly :)   Sure, it’s hard.  Sure you don’t know how.  Sure you want to have a darling handy man who will do it all while flashing well formed triceps…but there are TONS of capable women out there that already have done everything you have on that to-do list.  Yeah, it’s probably gonna suck cockroaches…but just think…you don’t have to wait on someone else and you’ll probably learn a lot along the way and you totally get bragging rights when you kick butt at finishing it up.  (oh and just so everyone knows, sometimes when I decide that I am willing to tackle something myself, a certain fine man with a finely shaped rear end is usually a gentleman and helps me along the way!). 

  • Barter & Bribery

When all else fails I have been known to hit below the belt.  Yes.  I admit it.  I am not above bribery or bartering.  Sometimes it is as something as easy as asking nicely after his favorite meal.  Sometimes its a gentle reminder of “I am so excited about the dining room paint job…it’s gonna be AMAZING!”  (said with a huge smile and while holding a snickers bar).  And sometimes it is doing a little dance with nothing but his button up shirt on.  TMI?  I hope so.  It’s all about delivery girls.  And if nookie-with-your-husband isn’t your thing, then maybe you could barter!  He wants to sleep in on Saturdays…you want the living room to have curtains…tell him you won’t ask for anything else this month if he hangs those dang brackets.  Of course, you have to stick to it…but you can secretly plan next months barter session while basking in the cool shade of your newly hung ikat curtains.     

  • Know Your Alternatives & Your Man

My dad is one of the smartest men I know.  He’s incredibly hardworking.  He’s kind.  He’s can figure out how to use any tool.  He taught me to build a computer in 8th grade and he’s willing to help out anyone that needs it.  However, my mother has figured out in the past 40+ years of knowing him that DIY is just not his thing.  Sure, he tackled his bathroom tile job.  Sure, last summer he decided to grow container tomatos.  Sure, he has the tools and the smarts to figure it all out.  BUT IT’S JUST NOT HIS THING!  And as much as my DIY-loving mother would love it to be his thing, she realized that she can accept him for what he is…or she can marry her daughters off to DIY-lovin’ guys who will come help…or she can save her pennies for hiring folks to do things that she can’t do herself.  It’s not a shameful thing to hire out…we’ve done it…it’s sometimes just what a marriage needs :)   I recommend finding out what your friends husbands like to do and maybe bartering with them if they have a special skill (you’ll make two weeks worth of frozen dinners for electrical work), or utilizing Angies List or Craigslist or local handymen or ask a family member if they could watch the kids for you while you tackle that laundry room.  It’s not always about the journey…sometimes its just about getting the dang kitchen painted.

In the end, I’d like to stress one really important thing…it’s just a house.  I’ve never seen an obituary where it listed the person’s home updates.   The most important thing is that you show your mate the love and respect that you promised them.  We all fail at that from time to time…(some of us…ahem…me…fail at it all the time) but even in the name of gettin’-it-done, it’s really vital to remember that they are your friend and partner…and that even if they never lift a DIY-finger, that they have other skills (maybe they make you smile everyday or make a mean latte or always drive you to the airport).  In the end, a healthy relationship with your spouse is worth much more than a perfectly decorated home.  And if you are able to convince your loved one to rearrange the furniture…just remember that a simple ‘thank you’ goes a long way.  With that, I’m off to shower my own man with compliments and a back scratch….afterall, mama wants her nursery painted before the baby turns one :)



113 Responses leave one →
  1. March 25, 2013

    I definitely need to try the first one. You’ve got some good insight. I feel like I’ve done the whole explaining with hand gestures, listing off the things I would change, etc. but I never really thought of how the hubs may be seeing it. None of it is intimidating or daunting to me but I’m the more handy one out of the two of us (he cooks and packs my lunches). I understand now why I get some of the looks that I do. My poor husband.

  2. Martha permalink
    March 25, 2013

    OMG, LOVE your response to Kristen. Its official, I have a girlcrush.

  3. March 25, 2013

    Hi! Such a great post!!! I laughed so many times and nodded at all your good ideas. My man is a DIYer and I am trying to learn the ropes too. I get this same question from friends and will just refer them to this post in the future. Have a nice day!

  4. March 25, 2013

    Love it, Katie! ESPECIALLY the last paragraph. “It’s just a house,” is something I have to remind myself of all the time. Who really cares that the baseboards are scuffed up? (Sadly, I really do!) My husband is not a DIY enthusiast, which sometimes bums me out, but he actually does make a mean latte and is amazing in nine million bajillion other ways.

    Oh, and the first time I read your last sentence I thought you wrote, “I’m off to shower with my man….” Double take! LOL

  5. KathyL permalink
    March 25, 2013

    **good ~~~ladylike~~~ comebacks to the snark**

    Ok, of course I love this post and agree, but you missed the big one. The tools, man, the tools. When a guy gets to do/has to do/’can only get sex for doing’ — a DIY project, a huge incentive will be the tools. Really, when we built our deck (one strong enough that it could hold one or two of our 4 ford pickups on btw) I had come home from work and Gary said ” I went to Lowes to get a saw…..and they wanted $400 for this saw, and I (insert disgust here) and I wasn’t going to pay $400 for one saw. I just sat down on a stool in the garage and said “uh huh, …yeah,…..where’s the saw?” And he whips out this guitar sized case from under the bench and very proudly exclaims “so I paid $700 for THREE saws!!!” what a deal…and I told him that I recognized now what was happening….it wasn’t a deck! It was a ~tool decoy~ yes!

    Another way I’ve found for the little jobs, was to start to do them myself and when I messed it up pretty bad he’d take over and finish it (he also loves things done right, and doesn’t rush) and I didn’t have to nag at all. Now, years later, I got my first cordless drill last christmas! and I’m allowed to keep it charged!

  6. Natalie permalink
    March 26, 2013

    Great List. I think I have used most of these at one stage or another. I’ve found that pre-warning and a short list really help. Most friday nights I will tell my partner what I would like to get done that weekend and he will normally get straight into it saturday morning so that he can spend the afternoon playing xbox uninterupted.

    Sometimes on a saturday morning if I haven’t mentioned any plans he will casually ask what I want to do today, as soon as I mention the words craft room the xbox remote is in his hands. Cracks me up everytime.

    He’s not that keen on housework but he will do his fair share every other week. And we both fight over whose cooking dinner because the other one has to do dishes and we both hate dishes. He normally wins cooking duties because he beats me home by an hour most nights.

  7. kym v. permalink
    March 26, 2013

    I may have just read this entire post outloud while laying in bed next to the husband. He actually laughed too :-)

    Great post and oh so true. You are the best!

  8. Trish permalink
    March 26, 2013

    Hi Katie! I am amazed that some people are so criticial of your style of writing and what you have to say. I hope you realise one or two grumpy people are not reflective of everyone out there! Keep writing YOUR way. Its your blog and we love it – and your family. Hugs from Cape Town. xx

  9. What tha what?! permalink
    March 26, 2013

    Huh? Well oooooobviously this post is not for me. I guess I’m not married to a guy from 1950 who just came home fresh from having his lobotomy.
    If I painted my husband in the light that you painted yours, mine would be seriously offended. Seriously.
    You make your husband look like a disinterested, brain dead performing monkey who works for sex.
    Does he read posts like this and give them his tick of approval?
    Because the way you represent him here makes him, frankly, look like a bit of a douche, and I’m sure that’s not your intention.

    • March 26, 2013

      Geesh…Jer looks pretty good for being 63 years old, huh?!
      Seriously though…yes, he gets approval first. And you are right…that wasn’t my intention. But since you are married, I’d love to stay on topic and hear how you get your husband motivated to do DIY stuff!
      xo – kb

      • March 26, 2013

        Great post! It was hilarious. My hubby thought it was funny too ;)

      • What tha what?! permalink
        March 26, 2013

        Nothing. He loves his family. Takes pride in his house and his position as a provider and caregiver and we work together as a team, renovating, painting, packing dishwashers and doing it all together. He’s not a disinterested party who needs to be bribed or coerced into participating in family life.
        xo wtw

        • March 26, 2013

          That’s truly wonderful. I want to be sure that I say this as respectfully as possible and for you to know that each person is different with different strengths and weaknesses (like I said in the post)….this post was about motivating your husband…and it is very clear that your loving and industrious husband does not ever need motivation. So if you just don’t like me, that’s fine but when it comes to men who DO need motivation, you have little to no experience in this matter…and I am sure you are thankful for that! What a blessing! I think there are a lot of fine men in the world that love their family and are still interested but need a little push to tackle DIY stuff! Heavens knows I do sometimes!
          xo – kb

    • natalie permalink
      March 26, 2013

      Katie,
      I think you paint Jeremy as a loving, caring, very masculine man who is a great husband and father and can do pretty much anything around the house. What tha what?!, what’s wrong with him wanting to please his wife and enjoying the rewards that might come with it?! I’m sure many readers, including myself, would like our significant others to be more like him and many men wish they were capable of everything he is!

  10. March 26, 2013

    Great post! My guy doesn’t mind DIY, when it comes to his projects that is. In fact he has to drag me off the couch sometimes to get things done. If I want a project done I think I might start trying some of your tips. Thanks!

  11. March 26, 2013

    Great post, Katie! I’m also a “hurry up and get it done”… I’ll have to try your “don’t rush a good thing” mantra. And, I love your graceful responses to the negative comments.

  12. Kelli permalink
    March 26, 2013

    I read your blog everyday while at work (gets me through the day), but I’m not one to usually comment. I just have to say that this post is funny, cute and not in any way offensive or degrading to women. I myself use some of these same tactics to convince my hubby that my crazy DIY projects are great ideas and he would love helping me. I just felt compelled to leave a comment after reading some of less than kind words some people left. I have huge respect for you for putting your life on the internet for strangers to read. You have inspired me to tackle projects that I have talked about for years and after finding your blog I was encouraged to pull the trigger. Thanks again for being REAL, honest and funny!

    PS – I loved you and your blog even more after learning of your Pittsburgh roots!

  13. Mya B. permalink
    March 26, 2013

    What a funny post! I can’t really relate yet, as we are still renters, but I appreciate your willingness to help a sistah out! Also, way to handle the haters! I think your patient and friendly responses show just how classy you are at the heart. Thanks for being a good example. You’re right when you said “sex is funny. And it can be fun. And sexy. And dignified and flirty and everything all at the same time.”. I agree wholeheartedly :)

  14. Jen permalink
    March 26, 2013

    Love this post! It was in no way, shape, or form offensive to me. You are so refreshingly honest and open. :) You and the husband seem to have such a fun and real relationship.

    Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you aren’t still a wife…with a hot handy man honey! ;)

  15. Lindsey permalink
    March 26, 2013

    Oh Katie, this post was great. Sometimes men need motivation. And sometimes women need motivation too. Nothing you said was demeaning and if anyone spent any time reading your blog, it would be obvious how much you adore and respect Jeremy. Keep on keepin on girl!

  16. March 26, 2013

    Pictures are so, so key. If I try explaining something in detail, my husband just gets overwhelmed and anxious and thinks it will be a) too much work and b) not turn out well DIY’d. But pictures and step-by-step tutorials via pinterest and other blogs instead of my rambling? They go a loooong way toward getting him on board!

  17. March 26, 2013

    Awesome post. Seriously. It’s so easy to make assumptions about people based on the little bit of info we see on a blog. And it’s also easy to assume someone else’s life is perfect. Not sure why, but…

    As I was reading your list, I realized that I do a few of these things too… and more importantly, I realized how much better things go when I am doing it this way (as opposed to getting bitter and hateful about everything he’s NOT doing).

    My husband is a residential builder (built our house) and has the skills to do pretty much any diy job I could ever ask for. But the kicker is exactly that- he does it all day sometimes 6 days a week. Who wants their time at home to feel like work? Me neither. That realization has been huge for me. So I try to lower my dreams and expectations for our house to things that I can do. Then it’s an unexpected bonus when he helps out. And a little bribing with extra-curricular activity never hurts. haha

  18. Natalia permalink
    March 26, 2013

    I’m a long time reader but never commented before. I feel called to speak up because I’m so surprised at all of the negative comments following this post. Yes, wouldn’t it be ideal if our husbands would be motivated with a simple please and thank you. Yes wouldn’t it be ideal if a simple please and thank you motivated me too!!! (Sometimes it does, Sometimes it doesn’t…I’m human!) I am grateful that my husband has tactics to motivate me when I am being a bugger and I have my own to motivate him. We keep each other trying our best. Sometimes that’s just the reality of it. It’s one thing to be spouting off our ideals, but I’ve especially appreciated this post because it’s realistic. Thanks Katie, keep up the great work.

  19. Amanda permalink
    March 26, 2013

    Katie, I have been following you since I stumbled across Sherry and Jon’s site. You are awesome! I am so glad you posted this. I want to DIY stuff but my husband who is very handy would prefer to hire it out. We flooded during Tropical Storm Allison and were down to the studs due to flooding. We did the entire renovation ourselves, hiring out only those things we felt like we needed a pro.

    I too bribe, coerce, etc, my darling to do the things I HATE…like laundry. Blech! I’ll offer up just about anything to get him to do that chore.

    Keep on writing and ignore the haters. They must not have anything better to do than to cut others down.

  20. March 26, 2013

    IMHO, this is the best post you’ve written, Katie. When we’re surrounded with Pinterest, awesome blogs, DIY magazines, and so many other sources of attainable inspiration, we often dream big but forget our own limitations– let alone the limitations of our DIY partner. Respecting your partner throughout your relationship (not just in DIY) means they’ll respect you, too. And he will probably be more willing to work toward your dreams, whether those are inside the house or out.

    And bravo for calling out us ladies who should be picking up the power tools ourselves occasionally. :-)

    Erin

  21. March 26, 2013

    Loved this! My husband and I rent, but our awesome landlord has let us do some serious renovations to the place (all to his advantage, of course…if we ever move outta here, he can charge a lot more for his hardwood and tiled floors than he did for icky carpet and linoleum!). It was such a learning experience when we tiled the kitchen floor, since my man did most of the work. I’d much rather blast through the job and have two miserable, work-filled weeks. He wanted to take his time. I learned to be patient and not nag; that way, he still wants to DIY!

  22. Alana M. permalink
    March 26, 2013

    I’m a long-time reader, first time commenter, and I just wanted to say that I LOVED this post. Seriously, I have been praying for clarity on some of these very issues. Who would have thought, I’d find it on this blog.

    Thank you Katie for always being so honest… and treating the nastier comments with such class!

  23. Amy permalink
    March 26, 2013

    If only my husband would put on a dance (a la Magic Mike) so that I feel determined to tackle his 23 shirts that need ironing, finish painting some trim, stain the deck, wash and polish the kitchen cupboards, and start the clean and purge for the move this summer.

    If only….

    Great post, Katie! :) :)

    • March 26, 2013

      Hahaha! I like to imagine Jeremy dancing for me too :)
      xo – kb

  24. Emily permalink
    March 26, 2013

    Katie – thanks for the tips. This is my first ever blog comment! My husband is really great at learning how to DIY the stuff he needs to get done and helps with regular house stuff (laundry, dishes, car stuff, home repair, etc.) but we haven’t gotten into much of the decorating or improving stuff. Hopefully I can use some of these tips to motivate him on some of ‘my’ projects, or just do it myself! Also, I bought some frog tape recently ;)

  25. erin permalink
    March 26, 2013

    Seems like a lot of these commenters who have an issue with all the sex innuendo JUST NEED TO GET LAID!

  26. Kate permalink
    March 26, 2013

    Oh Katie B, the ways you weasel into my heart are endless. That is all.

  27. Danielle permalink
    March 26, 2013

    Katie,
    This post couldn’t have come at a better time for me. My boyfriend and I just entered the 13th week of a kitchen and bath addition that we are DIYing. He is a construction PM and I’m and interior designer (commercial) so you’d think we could get through it no problem. Being with out a kitchen for this long has been so hard and we’re at a breaking point. I usually motiviate him with great dinners, but that’s just not an option. Your post was a great eye opener for both him and I (yes, I made him read it). While I could do a better job of letting him work at his own pace, he could offer a little respect for my 60 hour work weeks and the fact that I’m right there with him working on the house all weekend long. You really helped us to see things from the others perspective. That’s why I love you blog.
    Dani

  28. Kateri permalink
    March 26, 2013

    I don’t get why people always have such beef with you. Stop reading if you are going to be sooooo offended. You must get so tired if it. Weird, bigger things in life people. Get a grip.

  29. March 26, 2013

    Loved this post! Would love to say that I have a man as handy as Jer. (You both are so lucky!) This post really did help me. I had never thought to just keep quite with the wish list. I know he sees dollar signs whenever I speak. I’m pretty sure he just tunes out. Also, just doing it yourself… As much as I would love to be able to climb the ladder to paint the stairway…I just can’t. That’s where this awesome man of mine steps in. And no doubt…he’s rewarded! ;) This speaks to many levels of marriage, not just on a DIY level. Nicely done!

  30. Jennifer permalink
    March 26, 2013

    Holy cow! I just had to comment on this post. I am constantly amazed at how people can react to a post! It’s was done with humor and was meant (I’m sure) as a lighthearted approach to encouraging your significant other to participate in some home improvement. I appreciate your candor and the tactful approach to took to you critics. Well done! I also appreciate your suggestions. I’m the type to dive in and come up with a clever fix to my mistakes. My husband (an engineer) take a slower more thoughtful approach, I often need to remind myself to slow down :)

  31. March 26, 2013

    I don’t comment very often because other people often say what I was going to anyway BUT I really feel the need to weigh in on those negative comments. I just think it is hilarious that they focused almost exclusively on you mentioning sex when you said it only a couple of times. Gee, what is lacking in your lives ladies?? I don’t understand how the tone of the post could be so misread. I mean, really, you mention so many things NOT to do (nag, pile a whole heap of overwhelm on your partner etc.) and also how much you can do yourself that I just can’t work out how certain people see it as a ‘sex for task’ list. They don’t see that you asking them to do something while holding a snickers bar would be funny (and that, maybe, just maybe, Jeremy might think it was funny too)? They don’t see how obviously you both work so well together as a team? That you do a heap of DIY yourself? That you have excellent perspective on the whole thing from the last paragraph? I am seriously scratching my head here….

  32. March 27, 2013

    I adored this post. I find it so refreshing when a couple can openly express their love for each other and what really works for their marriage. Major props to you. And Jeremy. I admire the fact that you two are able to accomplish so much based on the knowledge of each others strengths and weaknesses. Good job Katie. And Jeremy. You’re setting a great example for your children about love, marriage, and communication.

    I am bookmarking this for the next time I need my hubby to complete a project for me :)

  33. Susan permalink
    March 27, 2013

    I read your blog because of YHL, probably how a lot of us found you. I commend you on having your own style of writing and wit, as my friend says about you, you have no shame when it comes to pictures of you as a redneck (hilarious), birth stories, DIY mistakes, whatnot. That’s totally not my style, I’m way mote private, but it would be boring if we were all the same personality, so kudos. But I do think there should be a place in the blog-world for comments that aren’t just “yay you’re hilarious, I want your house,” ya know? Like not, a super rude, angry commenter who just writes things without thinking about how that would make a real person feel, but a place where someone can say, hey I’m not a huge fan of the wall color, without commenters forming a cyber mob. And I think your TMI style can be questioned without coming off as mean spirited. Does that make sense? I want to read your blog to gain inspiration (which I totally have from you) and watch your kitchen come together, but as a young single woman, I do feel uncomfortable about a lot of the sexual jokes you make. And I know you’re married, obviously, and I know you could say, hey this post obviously isn’t for you… But I think there can be an appropriate balance. Like the pioneer women jokes about her husbands butt, but it never feels dirty reading it. Sometimes yours can come across a little crass, and I’m just a fan trying to gently reflect that to you, because I don’t think that’s how you’re trying to come across. I’m just one small voice, and I so appreciate you, your style and how your share and respond to readers. Way to go. I just feel a lil compelled (and nervous!) to share this. That’s all. Carry on!

    • March 27, 2013

      Oh absolutely! Thanks for being so sweet. If people feel uncomfortable, I totally get it. But in the same respect, I am sometimes inappropriate. I don’t ever attempt to be crass…just write what is on my mind…so I guess my brain is like a boys :) There are a lot of reasons why some people read and why some people don’t…and as much as I don’t want to alienate others, I do have to be true to me and try to be as real as possible. I am definitely filled with flaws.
      xo – kb

  34. Sharon permalink
    March 28, 2013

    Hi Katie, totally off topic of this post, but what brand is that paint sprayer used in the first picture of this post? I’m thinking of repainting our garage door and that sprayer looks small enough for me to handle. Would you recommend it?

    Thanks!

    • March 29, 2013

      It’s the Graco True Coat Plus. I definitely think anyone could handle this one!
      xo – kb

  35. March 28, 2013

    Great post and I totally get it. My man is not lazy but I get the motivation, bribery, etc. part. Sorry you get such negative comments from time to time.

  36. March 29, 2013

    Yes, I’m a little late to the party on this one, but I thought it was fun, informative, inspirational, and genuine all in one. I read the comments and I just don’t get it. Do these women not ever talk in a lighthearted way with their friends? Are they super serious and highly appropriate at all times? Snore. I’ll hang out at your table, Katie.

    And I didn’t notice your boyfriend’s well formed triceps or his finely shaped rear… at all… ever… *nervous laughter*

    Love you. xo

  37. Jocelyn permalink
    April 1, 2013

    Button up shirt. Check. Dancing capabilities. Check. Works. Every. Time. :)

  38. June 18, 2013

    SOOOO TRUE!!!! An excellent article. It has taken me a decade to learn all of the above with my own husband!!

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