The fine folks over at Kwikset emailed me and asked if we would be willing to take part in their SmartSquad. My reply? “I don’t know what a SmartSquad is…but I think it would be dumb to not wanna piece of that!” And the funny thing was, we had just replaced our front door handle (yeah, we have a lag in timing for editing and writing from when projects get tackled to when they actually get blogged about over here)…so you can imagine my enthrillment (just made that one up) when I pranced into Jeremy’s office to slip him the note that stated “Kwikset wants me. And they called me smart!”
Later on, I explained to my boytoy that basically they were just assembling some DIYer-bloggers who appreciate nice hardware. That would be us. And that four times this year, they would give us a writing assignment. (do you people actually read the words on this blog?) And that I would have to disclose that these are sponsored posts. I don’t know exactly what I’m getting in return…but if you Kwikset people are reading this – WE HAVE 12 MORE EXTERIOR DOOR LOCKS THAT NEED REPLACING. Subtle. I know.
So the first assignment is this: Share your most notable lock-out story. My deepest apologies to my mother for this one. So here goes:
I have always been that girl that locks herself out of the house and the car. Usually while simultaneously locking my phone, my wallet and my keys inside. It’s not pretty. And it’s especially embarrassing when you have no memory cells for phone numbers to, well, anyone. And that apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. My most embarrassing lockout story wasn’t even my fault…it was my darling mothers…on the day I went into labor.
My mother had come over to watch me dialate. Not really. She just came over to lend support as the contractions overcame my entire being. But as labor pains often do, these were not ending anytime soon. So I decided to go on a short walk while my mom ran to the store. I set the alarm code and left everything inside (no point in lugging more weight than necessary with such swollen ankles). Shortly thereafter, my mom returned to our unlocked house. Not realizing that I wasn’t home, she went inside. The alarm sounded. She got spooked and did what any normal person would have done. She ran. Actually she ran while taking the time to lock the only unlocked door to the house. At that very same moment, I was waddling back up our driveway.
The alarm company called my husband who was in a work meeting and didn’t answer the phone. Then they called my cell…which was still locked safely inside the house. Then they called my out-of-state in-laws who gave permission to send the cops. Did you follow that?
So there we were, sitting outside our house…our very loud house…which brought the neighbors outside…for a half hour until the police arrived. All the while, my cell phone was ringing off the hook with concerned family members in two different states as I did lamaze breathing in the driveway.
Moral of the story? Keep that emergency key in a lockbox outside…or just get a new mother.
That was a joke mom. I wouldn’t trade you for all the bacon in the world
And just for kicks – here is a photo of me on the day I went into labor…I was crazy huge.
Aww memories. Thanks Kwikset for bringing up such a painfully embarrassing memory for my mom! It’s the perfect revenge for when she seranaded me with Whitney’s “I will always love you” in front of my entire sixth grade class. Bwahaha
Disclosure: I am a member of the Kwikset-sponsored SmartSquad and and occasionally receive incentives to discuss issues related to home safety and security.