The fine folks over at Kwikset emailed me and asked if we would be willing to take part in their SmartSquad.  My reply?  “I don’t know what a SmartSquad is…but I think it would be dumb to not wanna piece of that!”  And the funny thing was, we had just replaced our front door handle (yeah, we have a lag in timing for editing and writing from when projects get tackled to when they actually get blogged about over here)…so you can imagine my enthrillment (just made that one up) when I pranced into Jeremy’s office to slip him the note that stated “Kwikset wants me.  And they called me smart!” 

Later on, I explained to my boytoy that basically they were just assembling some DIYer-bloggers who appreciate nice hardware.  That would be us.  And that four times this year, they would give us a writing assignment.  (do you people actually read the words on this blog?)  And that I would have to disclose that these are sponsored posts.  I don’t know exactly what I’m getting in return…but if you Kwikset people are reading this – WE HAVE 12 MORE EXTERIOR DOOR LOCKS THAT NEED REPLACING.  Subtle.  I know.   

So the first assignment is this:  Share your most notable lock-out story.  My deepest apologies to my mother for this one.  So here goes:

I have always been that girl that locks herself out of the house and the car.  Usually while simultaneously locking my phone, my wallet and my keys inside.  It’s not pretty.  And it’s especially embarrassing when you have no memory cells for phone numbers to, well, anyone.  And that apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.  My most embarrassing lockout story wasn’t even my fault…it was my darling mothers…on the day I went into labor.   

My mother had come over to watch me dialate. Not really.  She just came over to lend support as the contractions overcame my entire being.  But as labor pains often do, these were not ending anytime soon.  So I decided to go on a short walk while my mom ran to the store.  I set the alarm code and left everything inside (no point in lugging more weight than necessary with such swollen ankles).  Shortly thereafter, my mom returned to our unlocked house.  Not realizing that I wasn’t home, she went inside.  The alarm sounded.  She got spooked and did what any normal person would have done.  She ran.  Actually she ran while taking the time to lock the only unlocked door to the house.  At that very same moment, I was waddling back up our driveway. 

The alarm company called my husband who was in a work meeting and didn’t answer the phone.  Then they called my cell…which was still locked safely inside the house.  Then they called my out-of-state in-laws who gave permission to send the cops.  Did you follow that? 

So there we were, sitting outside our house…our very loud house…which brought the neighbors outside…for a half hour until the police arrived.  All the while, my cell phone was ringing off the hook with concerned family members in two different states as I did lamaze breathing in the driveway.

Moral of the story?  Keep that emergency key in a lockbox outside…or just get a new mother. 

That was a joke mom.  I wouldn’t trade you for all the bacon in the world :) 

And just for kicks – here is a photo of me on the day I went into labor…I was crazy huge.

Aww memories.  Thanks Kwikset for bringing up such a painfully embarrassing memory for my mom!  It’s the perfect revenge for when she seranaded me with Whitney’s “I will always love you” in front of my entire sixth grade class.  Bwahaha :)

Disclosure: I am a member of the Kwikset-sponsored SmartSquad and and occasionally receive incentives to discuss issues related to home safety and security.



  1. says

    OMGsh Katie, I love that story. Hilarious. (I’m sure it was not hilarious at the time). Looks like you got about as huge as I did when I was pregnant last year. Sheesh…isn’t it amazing what the human body can do? You are lucky though and seem to have lost all that baby weight…my jello jiggler tummy is still sadly hangin’ on. Hahaha

  2. Heather says

    Aww! I love that you’re laboring in your boy’s room. I used to go in my boy’s room and read children’s books (sometimes even crying – ever read Dr. Seuss’s sappy books when you’re hormonal!?!) while I waited two weeks past my due date to go into labor. :)

  3. says

    You totally crack me up…hide a key outside or get a new mother. I laughed out loud!

    I do have a lock out story, although it would be much funnier if I was in labor at the time;)

    It was 11:30 at night and I had just gotten home from a Bible study (lots of talk time after that one). I went outside to move the cars into the driveway. (Our house was built in 1927 and only had a one car garage and a super skinny driveway – uphill both ways, yada yada – the kind of driveway that has no room for error)! Needless to say I went to open the door to go inside – did I mention it was January in Michigan? – and the door was locked. All the lights were on and my cat is giving me this look like, “What are you doing out there?” So I walked down to our friend’s house to beg to use their phone. I hadn’t showered in two days. Yeah, they were happy to let me in! I called three different 24 -hour emergency locksmiths – and no one called me back! Did I mention that my husband was 12 HOURS away? I spent the night with their golden retriever, Sonny, and a locksmith let me in the next morning. When my husband got home late the next day, I demanded that he replace that old lock. He did, with a Kwik-set, and no I am not kidding!

  4. says

    Pretty sure you just beat every other lockout story out there with the Mother of All Lockout Stories. Yes, pun intentional, sorry, can’t help it.

  5. says

    This is such a funny story! Luckily, everything ended well.

    My family has always given a spare key in a sealed envelope to one of our neighbors (and they would give us one as well). This way, if anyone got locked out, we could go grab a spare key. It’s a little safer than hiding it under a rock or planter!

  6. says

    I love it! So funny!
    I have one where i was letting my dogs out in the backyard. Went outside with them for a few minutes and shut the slidding door behind me, not a big deal since you can’t “prelock” a sliding door, right? Wrong… the bar that you put between the sliding part to double lock the door slid down and locked us out.
    It was cold AND started to rain. OH AND I didn’t have on any shoes. So I went to my neighbors (at 6 in the morning), used her phone to call the hubs, who called my mother-in-law, since she has a key to leave work and come and save me!
    Luckily at the time I was terrible at locking my car doors so they it was open, so I carried my mutt and lab (b/c they would run if i didn’t carry them) around to the front to shiver in the car together until we were saved.

    Not as good as your “birth” story… but still not fun!

  7. says

    We have a sliding glass door to the back patio, and my husband was working outside (I was at work, 20 miles away).

    One of our evil cats stepped on the lock that’s in the floor tray of the door, and locked him out. Then sat at the glass and watched my husband try and get back in.

    Of course, I had to drive home and help him back in (we didn’t have a spare key hidden at the time) but not before I took some blackmail pictures of him for my blog. :)

  8. Christine says

    My neighbor went outside to show her MIL something while her 3 month old baby slept inside. Her MIL somehow locked the garge door and they were locked out. We had a key to her house but we were out of town. When she got ahold of us, she had to go to another neighbors house to get the key to our house and then rummage through our junk drawer to find the key to her house. She was hysterical the entire time. When she finally got back in – the baby had never even woke.

  9. says

    OMG KB, I had almost forgotten your lock-out story! Hopefully now looking back you can laugh about it!

    And also: I love door hardware! That probably makes me weird, like my love for plumbing fixtures.

  10. says

    I locked myself and the 2 small children I was babysitting out of the house for 2 1/2 hours in July when I was 13. Luckily our house was right next door so we spent some of that time at my house with my mom. I sat and worried that they would never have me babysit ever again. They were nice about it and had me back to babysit countless times after that, but wow, was I paranoid about having a key on me when we went outside to play. :)

    You look alot like I did the day I went into labor (5 days past my due date). I did 38hrs of labor then a C-section along with a number of other horrors. Anyhoo, you may already know this, but the support/education group ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) has been a really great resource for me. Look up a group in your area if you’re interested in a VBAC for your next munchkin.

  11. Lauren says

    My husband and I got locked out of our new house on our wedding night. He apparently had so much fun at the wedding that he forgot that he had left his keys in his brother’s car. His sister, who had given us a ride home, let us crash at her house since we wouldn’t be able to meet up with their brother until the next morning. We spent our fist night as husband & wife with him sleeping on his niece’s Hannah Montana themed bed and me on the couch. Most romantic wedding night ever.

    Hubby didn’t learn his lesson though. He managed to misplace the house key again the day we got back from our honeymoon. I started unpacking our huge suitcases from our 21 day trip on the front lawn while he attempted to break in through one of the back sliding glass doors. I managed to find the key in a tiny random pocket of his suitcase before the locksmith got there.

    I am forevermore in charge of the house key now.

    P.S. You look great in that picture. I’m 35 weeks pregnant with my first (a boy!) and I wish I still looked that cute. I can’t imagine what a pregasaurus I’m going to be by the time this kid decides to make his debut.

  12. says

    your story is hilarious!
    A few weeks after we moved into our new house, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. My husband called several times during the movie but I didn’t know…turns out- he had locked himself out of the house and it was POURING rain. He also works from home so he had to get back to his computer….so he proceeded to break the small back window, step on our outdoor table, and climb through it back into the house. His explanation was that we wanted to replace that window anyways….

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