2012 was a big year for us. Big being an understatement. Honestly I don’t even know where to begin with it, so I’ll just put this out there…having Weston join our family…having him after thousands of hours of waiting for a baby….after millions of prayers to get pregnant…after the joy of delivery and seeing my boys all together…I am so filled.
Filled to my very edges.
I am full of gratitude and joy and a sense of completion. I am so blessed. To state it plainly…as a mother, Will has taught me how to love. And as a mother, Weston has taught me the joy of being loved. One thing I had to work at, claw toward, inch by inch and day by day…the other was completely free, unexpected and took my breath away. Both needed. Both priceless. Both gifts from God. So needless to say, 2012 was amazing. So amazing that it’s hard to imagine how 2013 could be even better…or what I could do to change…because let’s be honest, nobody thinks about self-improvements when they are experiencing some of the most exhilaratingly happy moments of their life. That would be like making a to-do list while skydiving. I’m fairly certain that most folks just scream and hold on and try not to drool on their tandem instructor. Because that would make things awkward after landing.
So instead of making resolutions that I’ll probably break….like tomorrow, I am gonna share some goals for the blog. Let’s go…
GOAL #1 – To choose my family over you guys.
I love y’all. I do. You are like marshmallows in my Lucky Charms. But sadly, you are gonna get the short end of the stick over my family every single time. You see, in the very deepest part of my heart, I want my legacy to be one thing…my children. (ok, so technically that is two things but let’s not start doing mathematics…I don’t have a calculator handy). And here’s the thing…this blog is not my life. This blog is not irrelevant to me but it’s definitely not everything. One day it’ll be gone. Yup. I can pretty much guarantee that blogging in general will probably fade away…one day.
And it hurts to know that in the past year there were times when I chose my laptop over my child. It’s not something I’m proud of. I hate that I could have been on the floor making awesome tunnels out of cereal boxes for matchbox cars to zoom through but instead I spent that time Pinteresting (totally a verb), or tweaking a post, or fretting over sticking my foot in my mouth because I am not up on current events (happens more than I care to admit). Frankly, I just want to be a really super mom. One that really focuses on enjoying my boys and investing in our quality time and pours my heart into our time together not because I want to blog about the cool craft we created without messes but because my boys are worth it.
Don’t worry – I’m not going anywhere…but this is more of a mental change for me. Making that concious effort to wrestle when I feel tired, smile when the glitter is spilled everywhere, and to not allow my brain to wander while I have the best two things growing up right in front of me. And to put the iphone the freak down because nothing on Instagram or Facebook or the comment section is as important as the cooing of Weston or the story from Will about the ‘truck-train’ that hit a ’woger towah’ and went ‘boom-crash-ahhhh!’
GOAL #2 – To be brave enough to be me.
Let’s just be honest…I’m weird. I always have been. Even in infancy. Just ask my mother. I know that not everyone is gonna like me. In fact, it’s more likely that you won’t like me. I’m difficult. And moody. And can be inappropriate, critical and overly sensitive and just plain weird. really really weird. And being all those things (and knowing it), also makes me insecure. But I don’t want my flaws to feed my fears. I want to continue to bare my soul to you guys…sortof like I did with writing about infertility and my struggle slash victory with breastfeeding. So that’s a big goal this year, to bare the weirdness. misspellings and all.
GOAL #3 - To organize one space a month.
I’m terrible at organization. Horrible. My clutter eats other people’s clutter for breakfast. And I hoard. I am a terrible hoarder. Don’t throw away all that torn up post-Christmas tissue paper! I will fold it and save it in my other boxes of crinkled old torn tissue paper because one day I might need to craft the world’s largest toddler tissue paper art project! And it will be glorious! Seriously Katie, get a freaking grip. Actually scratch that. Loosen the grip as you throw stuff away, donate it, and plain ole purge. I need to stick my proverbial finger down my house’s proverbial throat and purge the toxins that are eating my storage space alive. I figure that I could clean up one space a month….like our workroom (pictured above) that looks like a bomb went off….why did I have Jeremy dumpster dive for my parents neighbors porch scraps? oh right…so I could save it for a year in our basement doing nothing of course. After seeing John clean up his basement, we are feeling inspired. Already bought our Bagster and now we just gotta fill it up! Oh and not only does our house need some organizing but so does this blog and my computer. My important photos are being suffocated by my blurry, over-exposed, illtimed ones. Let’s get on that this year.
So those are my three goals. Not very fancy. Normal stuff. What’s yours?