1 baby + 1 pumpkin display = priceless

And then I punched my steering wheel.

That’s what ended up happening.

Let me begin with the whole story.  I was in a foul mood last week.  Yup.  The whole week.  It felt hormonal or maybe like I had drank a touch too much of the crazy juice and then it was fed by some very minor things…things not even worth mentioning because I would explain it like it was a big deal and those of you out there with normal capacity for compassion would have trouble hiding your eyes as you found them rolling in their sockets.  Then you would do an extra-long blink to hide the why-is-this-even-a-topic-of-discussion-eye-roll and just look like you fell asleep in the middle of the conversation.   Those of you with that weird uncanny your-problem-is-my-problem kinda empathy (you know the type…like if you have a hangnail…let’s stop everything and pray for you and cry with you and discuss the entire story of how said hangnail came to be kinda type.) are very kind but I know in my heart that it truly wasn’t a big deal and there are far more dire folks out there with far more desperate hangnail situations.  Then I would feel guilty for eating up your time.  And frankly…you over-empathizers are needed in todays world of aggressive hangnails.

So this story went like this…I was in a foul mood.  I had to drop off some brownies at our church and I made the point of going directly after dropping off Will at preschool.  I figured that if I was super early…I would avoid all human beings.  I threw Weston in a cute outfit (these days that means just something that is clean) because the plan was to snap some photos of him at 10 months old and with his current hairstyle (I want to buzz off the ‘butt-cut’ but only after it’s properly documented).  After dropping off Will, the car is loaded, I hand the Munchkin (that’s his current nickname…Munchkin or Munch or Munchie…which fits because the kid eats like a Hoover)…I hand him a squeeze pack of baby food like I’ve done a bazillion times, and I head down the road toward the church listening to him make his happy little squeals and sighs.

I pull up…still in a mood…and I look back to see that Munch has squeezed the entire sweet potato, apple and cinnamon mixture out of the pouch onto himself, his car seat, Will’s car seat, the car and the floor.  And he is now screaming…which means the thunder down under is in the forecast, if you know what I mean.

And then I punched my steering wheel.

It was such a little thing.  And definitely not worth the moment of blinding pain in my hand as I remember that I didn’t clip my fingernails and now there was four little almost-puncture wounds in my palm.

Do you ever get there?  Like you are holding on by one thin thread of sanity and you might snap at any moment?  I literally do not want to bite people’s heads off right now…I want to eat their entire upper half.  I want to mash their cranium into their torso, reach in, tear out their tongues and then dramatically throw it onto the ground and grind it into the dirt with my heel.  My mother is rolling her eyes.  I can feel it through the internet.

Lately I’ve just been so bitter salty and then the littlest thing sends me over the edge…aka food pouch and a crying baby.

After cleaning up the car and Weston, I grab the foil and plastic encased food and take it inside the front doors of the church…walking really really fast when Brian, our pastor and friend pops his head into the foyer and says HI!  All I could think was…why the heck is he here so early?!  Doesn’t he know that I am trying to avoid human contact for the sake of not committing homicide?!  I’m pretty sure Jesus frowns upon murdering your pastor in your church…even if you do leave the brownies.

I don’t think my legs have ever moved so fast….I threw a half-hearted hi over my shoulder and headed for the car.  He knew something was wrong and asked if I was okay…

I had made it to the sidewalk but not far enough to pretend I didn’t hear him…so I spun on my heal and basically yelled…

“I’M PREGNANT AND HORMONAL!”

and walked briskly off.

Thanks Brian for taking one for the team.  Jeremy probably appreciates it more than anyone.  Oh and in attempt to get into a better mood, I stopped at a local shop called the Stone Mountain Pecan Company and picked up three pounds of chocolate covered food and took a couple dozen photos of Munchie.  They have a killer pumpkin display.

Needless to say…the chocolate helped.  The photos of Weston?  They changed things for me…at least for this moment.  And my steering wheel?  It works just fine :)

Comments

  1. Natalie says

    Ahhh… hormonal anger. I have had my share of violent outbursts (objects only, no humans or dogs.) I have not had it in any of my 3 pregnancies. But, birth control? Watch out home accessories. One time I messed up a homemade pie crust and so I took the rolling pin and beat the tar out of the cutting board I was using. The cutting board cracked and now my dog hides in the guest room when I cook. Not kidding.

    Photography questions :: do you custom white balance each time? do you have a custom style set on your camera? I mean, you’re a pro and all so obvi your photos are going to be excellent. I just love the color saturation/exposure balance you have going on. I always end up boosting color in post processing and I feel it looks fake.

    • says

      Nope. I definitely auto white balance (unless my screen is showing some funky results that I know I will have to drastically fix later)….I did study up on the Kelvin method and used a gray card for a while when I was learning (I still haven’t scored an Expodisc but want to eventually) and found that with outdoor photos, auto requires just as much post processing as with Kelvin and gray carding. If I am indoors, I usually try to think first about whether or not these photos will be used later…some are just purely for blogging and some will actually be for family and be frame-worthy…so before I invest a lot of time on white balancing, I take that into consideration.
      xo – kb

  2. Jennifer I says

    Oh no, I am sorry for laughing, but that is funny…the pastor?! And really, I think it is perfectly ok to feel frustrated and unhappy over the mess. That was a little more than a hangnail. It is hard to be pregnant and taking care of wee little ones at the same time. My two are about 22 months apart…so been there, done that, I commiserate.

  3. Amanda says

    Thank you. I adore your ability to share real stories from life.

    I wish I could do it too and everyone could just laugh about it instead of looking at me with pity and insisting on telling me I’m in their prayers.
    Its like, No. I realize these feelings and trials are fleeting, needing to vent and be real is not a cry for help. It’s a signal that says I’ve got this, but lets laugh about it anyway.

    For me, laughing about something trying is the fastest remedy.

  4. Kristin F says

    You poor thing! I get like that now and don’t have a.) pregnancy, b.) two boys under four, and c.) church brownie duty to blame! It happens to all of us, so no worries. Plus, look at the bright side, you must have really, really strong nails! I would have gotten even angrier cause my nails would’ve broken clean off they’re so brittle!

  5. michelle LG says

    Oh my good gracious about the squeeze pouches!!!! Sometimes those things are such a help (any portable toddler snack that meets a fruit/ veggie foodgroup is a godsend) BUT sometimes they are the match that lights my short fuse. Its always in the carseat on the way to somewhere that she squeezes the thing all over herself. Always. Gaaaah. I feel you mama. Also with the pregnancy rage. I could use a little expectant mother glow over here. Instead i have the crazy lady beet-red about to flip my lid going on. My poor husband. :/

  6. C ynthia C says

    Hormones make us do some crazy stuff. I screamed at my faucet in front of my husband and daughter awhile back. It needed to be replaced and was hard to work with. After I screamed at it, I burst into tears. He replaced it the next weekend. :-) Hormones happen.

    Those pictures of Weston are adorable! Such a cutie patootie!

  7. Kim says

    Oh my I am rolling with laughter yet also saying to myself “Oh yes, that’s me. That’s me, too. Yep that’s me. I’d do that too.” Sooooo glad to see I’m not the only one because despite my college education telling me I am not the only frustrated mom or human being out there, it often feels like it! Those doggone hormones! Or even no hormones – doesn’t matter. Sometimes those days are just those days and that’s it.
    P.S. Glad your stearing wheel is ok – and I LOVE the shots in the pumpkins!

  8. Joanna says

    I have no pregnancy hormones and regularly do stuff like that… I might have broken a chunk of our wall off and the head of a bobble head in a fit about not being able to find my keys in the early morning rush. Being a mama is hard work but 100% worth every moment. When I got pregnant the first time my friend told me: “be prepared 80% is awful but that 20% of amazing makes it so worth it.” I have to remind myself of that sometimes.

  9. Laura says

    Girl… I’ve been brought to tears by things as simple as a piece of pizza before and I’ve never even been pregnant. I am so with you on this one. Sometimes a million, tiny, should be insignificant but are kind of a pain in the buns things can be heavier than one, giant, legitimate problem. The eternal optimist in me wants to tell you to remind yourself it always could be worse, but the girl in me wants to tell you to go ahead and punch that steering wheel (or scream into that pillow as I do)… without bad days, there would be no great days!

  10. says

    Hey it happens. We all get there, but pregnant with a toddler and a baby already gives you a ton of leeway. That bit about your pastor though? That’s funny stuff.

    I hope you are having a better week! ;)

  11. says

    First- the next time this happens, we need a code word for you to text me and I can throw chocolate at you in the preschool line. And take Weston for a few minutes. And roll my eyes while being empathetic, but blatantly be trying to make you laugh. (Keep in mind, my Love Language is gifts, not words of affirmation, so I’ll say the wrong thing like an awkward turtle, but the chocolate will be top notch!)

    Second- those pictures are amazing! I need to take the kids over next week for pics with the pumpkins! Coleman needs pumpkin pictures!!!

    Hugs,
    Ms. Awkward Turtle

  12. Kim says

    I have to tell you…i had deja vu the other day. We are currently building a house, and i have a 19 month old son. We decided to go see daddy while he was working on the house. Little Hunter was in teh back seat with his veggie/fruit pouch (DID I NOT LEARN ANYTHING FORM YOUR POST!?!? :) )….as we drive out…he’s quiet as can be. Get to our destination, go to grab the monster in the back seat…and he is covered in a mix of squash/pears just looking baffled as to waht happened to him! :) I took my 14-week pregnant hormonel buns and just chuckled to myself…thinking “i knew better….this JUST happened to katie bower!” :)

    I dont normally post comments…but i couldnt help but share! Thanks for your wonderful blog…you and YHL are my daily inspiration…someday i want to be HALF as cool as you and your 2 beautiful families:)

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