My favorite part of yesterday was reading your comments. It was so encouraging. and beautiful. and touching. and hilarious. Yes, I see humor in lots of inappropriate situations…like when my parents accidentally left my sister Norn at a Wendy’s in Florida. Let’s just say that someone in our family got in trouble for laughing when we figured out she was a-missin’. And it wasn’t my brothers.
So yesterday really made me chuckle when I thought about one simple fact: you guys were thanking me. ME! You were thanking me and encouraging me and telling me that I was normal….as I talked to myself. yelling at myself. telling myself to be normal. online. the ironic thing is that schizophrenia runs in my family. that’s not a joke. just pure irony.
But back to the point…your comments really lifted me up. And I can’t thank you enough for them (and the countless emails I got) telling me that everything will be ok. In reality…not my hormone-induced-freak-out….things are ok. Things are actually better than ok. When I step back from my body, from my situation, from myself….the fact is I have a healthy, beautiful baby. And I have a home that does get a decent amount of cleaning….but the point is that I have a home. A safe, comfortable home. And I have wonderful, encouraging friends (some that I get to see in real life and some online). And I have the blessed option of staying at home with Will. And I have great family members that I love (and like as people too). And I am married to my best friend who tries to understand how I feel when I freak out and say that my world is crumbling down around me. And even though I complain about sleep…well…that’s my own fault. Because I want to do other things…like blog…when I should just take a nap. You can’t blame me for that, though. But still…I am blessed. Beyond blessed. And like I’ve said before…I don’t deserve it….but I am thankful for each and every one. And I do want to thank you each specifically. If I could, I would hold your hand in mine and tell you a heartfelt expression of gratitude as I looked into your eyes. You really were a breath of oxygen in my lungs. You were the wind beneath my wings. Seriously. THANK YOU.
On to more fun stuff….a Will Bower photoshoot! (what else is that fun?!?!)
Will’s first fall. I love fall. The boyfriend loves fall. I’m hoping that the passion for this season is genetic.
I love these toes. I love taking photos of them. I find myself downloading hundreds of feet photos. Which would be weird if I wasn’t so abnormal.
I especially love these feet because Will’s next-to-pinkie toe (the piggie that had no roast beef…poor dude) is longer than the one that stayed home and the one that ate the cow meat. It’s a little quirk about him that I love. And if someone ever tries to steal Will from me, this will be one identifiable thing that I will tell the cops. right after I mangle the kidnappers.
I also love his little hair situation. It reminds me of a bad toupee. I should have totally dressed him up as Donald Trump for Halloween.
You can’t see this but these photos were taken on the end of our driveway. Everytime a car would drive by, Will would practically fall over straining to see it. He loves watching cars. Even if he’s cranky, wet, and hungry, he will quietly sit in a chair in the driveway and watch vehicles pass us by. It’s our failsafe. And yes, there have been situations in our home where the baby is screaming and I am flinging baby food about…obviously attempting to quiet him…and then someone will yell “CARS!” and we run outside and magically Will’s alligator tears disappear and the world is right again. You would have thought that we cured cancer or solved the economic crisis with the amount of celebration that goes on in that moment.
Sometimes I brainstorm about the different shoots I want to set up for the little man. I just want to capture each moment. Well…not each one. But the firsts. Do any other moms feel that way? Like you wish that you could freeze time and get a photo of it? It’s very much what I imagine Lindsay Lohan wishes about her life…frozen forever when she was just that cute chick in Mean Girls.
Will tried to eat the leaves. I would run up and grab them out of his mouth and then run back to get the photo. And by the time I got back, he was opening his mouth for another one. And so I ran. and ran. and ran. Don’t worry…I didn’t burn any calories. Well not technically since I had 17 mini Snickers yesterday. Blasted leftover halloween candy.
Also, I just wanted to let you guys know that I am very excited about something. Something that I have been saving my pennies for for a very long time. Something that all the revenue from this blog has been dedicated to….and it literally has me twitterpatted. I am very very excited. And hopefully it will be the start of something that I have wanted to do for a while now.
I hate to leave you in the dark, but I promise I will shed full light on it soon. Until then, just know that I thank you and love each and every one of you. And taking photos of babies is super fun. and makes everything better.