Why do you do this? Why? Why do you let those thoughts sneak their way into your mind? You know what they do! They eat, destroy, create havoc, chaos, pain. But you let them in. You allow those notions of doubt to open the door for comparisons. The evil comparison game. But why? Why do you feel the incessant need to compare everything? It’s not healthy. It’s downright detrimental. It hurts you…it hurts your husband…it’s bad for your baby. But you continue to let it happen.
Sometimes you let it start small…is your little one keeping up with the average? Is he normal? Is he developing okay? But then it starts. It creeps in with conversations with other moms. Walking, talking, milestones, accomplishments. Bragging and dates meticulously kept on calendars of the tiniest little things….not just for celebration or memory sake but for proving that your baby is superior. That two weeks earlier matters. But it doesn’t. It never has. It only matters to the mom braggart. It only matters to the mom who feels like she has failed her child. And you have been both. Just stop. Stop the need to compare. You are doing your job. And he is growing…and healthy…and happy. And even if he wasn’t…well…that doesn’t mean that he is better or worse than anyone or that you are better or worse than anyone…it means that you are different. That you have been dealt a different hand. That’s it. So stop comparing.
And stop comparing your relationship with Jeremy to other couples. It doesn’t matter if he writes a haiku for you or if he has created a oil painting of your favorite flower or dedicated a song over the radio or took the time to pick out the perfect ring with a jewel encrusted bow on it…the point is, it will never be enough until you let it. He loves you. He loves you as much as he possible can. And he has proved it. over and over and over. And you both are happy when you let yourselves be happy. You are part of your best possible relationship…the relationship that was a gift from a God that knows you and loves you and wants the very best for you. So let it be the best without getting in it’s way. Oh and when was the last time you wrote a haiku for him?! or did something he would appreciate – like draw him a picture of a smokin’ hot moutain bike with a bikini’ed less-smokin’ hot picture of you on it?!? Okay…you can make yourself smokin’ hot too 🙂
Seriously – stop comparing yourself. Okay…so you want to lose a little weight…who doesn’t?! But that five pounds isn’t going to stop the comparisons…it’ll just be something else next time….clothes, hair, eyelashes, skin, fingernails, hangnails, the list could go on….and on…and on. So stop thinking that changing something about your outside is going to change what’s inside. It’s not. And neither is comparing what you have, what you don’t have, what you do, or haven’t done, what you are naturally or what you want to be. Stop dreaming about becoming a better person and just BE that person. This life is a choice. You can’t control what hand you’ve been dealt, but you can choose what to do with it. So go choose. and then be. and for heavens sakes, stop comparing.
And lastly, I want you to remember something that you learned recently…when you compare, you are limiting yourself to what you could have. Comparing your little one limits the joy you have when he jumps that next hurdle. Comparing your relationships keeps the appreciation out of what you currently are enjoying with others. Comparing yourself creates insecurities and doubts and robs you of the simple happiness of being alive. So stop comparing. Count your blessings. Cherish the moments. Enjoy the small things. Revel in what you have. Because girl…your road may be smooth or it may have bumps and holes, but the view is always spectacular when you are looking up.
xo – me