I try to work the word boob into conversation whenever possible. Please note this fact when reading this post.
Yes – I have been confused with a 12 year old boy at times.
And since I get a gazigillion emails about how to mount the television on our stone fireplace (all of which I replied I HAVE NO IDEA) and you guys seem generally interested in the Boob Tube just as much as we do, I thought it was high time to sit Jeremy down and ask him how it’s done.
You may remember our family room when we bought the house – specifically the fireplace. Were you paying attention? Because if you were on top of your details-game, you would have noticed that there were two pieces of wood attached to the fireplace, as well as an outlet and some wires. Yup…that is the start of our tv-mounting story.
The rest of the story started seven months ago…shortly after Christmas, when our beloved television started acting up. It was like the kid that you give drugs to for ADD except the ritalin worked backwards and your kid ends up in juvie. Yup. That was our boob tube. And the medicated treatment we used was ‘let’s keep the sucker warm by watching it ALL THE TIME.”
At first it was just a little pixel flicker in the corner. maybe a tiny line for a split second.
After the move and seven months later, watching television turned into a very trippy experience. I started charging hippies a fee to come into our house to get high and turn on the tube. Not really…but I should have.
Jeremy & I decided that it was in the best interest of our marriage that we move ‘New TV’ to the top of our save-for list…and just a couple weeks ago, Wells-Fargo decided that we finally had enough to splurge on a new boob tube. BARELY.
After a few months of research, Jeremy decided that his best bet was to wait till HHGregg put stuff on sale. And so he did. Then he narrowed it down to two televisions based on all sorts of newfangled things like hertz, light, color clarity, size, etc. Stuff I have no idea what he is talking about. My only requirements were that it needs to be big and it needs to be black. just like how I like my babies. Don’t worry Will – 50% ain’t that bad 🙂
And when he went in to haggle with the HHGregg folks, he was really quite confused. You see, my boyfriend had his eye on this 55″ LED LG tv….but there was also the same model WITH 3D that was cheaper. Why? Well, apparently LG does 3D televisions with different technology than other 3D televisions. It’s in the glasses. Most 3D tv’s use battery-powered glasses (which cost an arm and a leg…seriously, HHGregg has the bone saw right there in the store)…whereas LG 3D televisions use glasses that are like the ones you get at the theater – like Real D glasses. And the glasses are cheaper (which is great if you have a large group over to watch the SuperBowl or have a raving lunatic toddler around that likes to throw -aka break – things).
It was kinda one of those DUH moments in life where getting the nicer item was actually the cheaper option. So he ran to the register to purchase…and got ten pairs of glasses to boot 🙂
Which leads us back to the television mounting tutorial.
My dad gave us this mount for the television…he got it with his boob tube but wasn’t going to use it and since mounts are generally universal, we got to use it for free 🙂 Thanks Pops….(mom, tell him I said so).
The mount is bolted to those wood boards…the instructions with your mount will tell you how to secure it.
The key here is to make sure that the mount is level – this one had a little green level built in so even if the boards weren’t straight – the mount will be.
Now comes the tricky part – okay…it ain’t that tricky…just confusing to explain.
There are two hooks on the back of your tv (labeled A). At the top of the hooks it looks like, well, a hook. At the bottom of the hooks it has a screw (labeled B)…to lock the hook into place. When you tighten the screw up, it keeps the television completely secured onto your mount…more on that later. The back of your tv should also have a power cord (labeled C) and the HDMI input areas and cable plug-ins (labeled D). In order to do this you will want to make sure you have a strong man in your life (like my darling boytoy) and a strong helper (labeled E).
The first thing is – lift and hook onto the mount.
Both top part of the hooks need to be securely behind the top ledge of the mount.
It’s a good idea always to have one person holding the base of the tube so that the other person can check things out…and do this next step.
….which is make sure the tv is evenly centered on the fireplace (or wall or whatever).
Then as your ridiculously strong beast of a father-in-law is holding the television securely in place, have your husband tighten the screws below those hooks cinching the television to the mount…while you take photos through his armpit.
See that little screw – yup, now that bad boy is locked up tighter than Wesley Snipes.
Now plug everything in by squeezing your hand behind the television.
Time to celebrate! And peel! Isn’t that the best part?!?
Just so that everyone knows – this is our Christmas present…in July. Yup…and our marriage is okay. Thanks to the brain dump that is called television watching.
And how cool is 3D?
It’s pretty awesome. We have only one movie so far – but dang if that fish isn’t floating right in the middle of the room ready to eat my face off.
And the coolest part is – it’s totally switch-offable. So normal television watching is back to, well, normal.
So there you have it – our boob-tube-hoisting tutorial and the best Christmas-in-July present we have ever gotten.
Are you guys total tv junkies like us? Ever watched 3D? I must admit that since we don’t have anything but free basic cable that this is definitely an upscale television…but hey, if they are gonna practically beg us to buy a 3D tv, I am gonna bite. I am especially gracious like that 🙂