Every single day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
That is how often I get asked if I want a girl.
Think about that for a hot second. Think about how often that really is. THOUSANDS OF TIMES a year. Every single day I get asked different varieties of the same question multiple times….Do I want a girl? Am I going to try for a girl? Are we gonna try again for a girl? Are we hoping the next one is a girl?
And I want to say this loud and clear….I am not offended. I am not angry at those people or hurt or jealous of girl moms. I am not disappointed in my boys or any future babies regardless of their gender. Haters will say “liar.” but they say that about everything. The thing is….I think of this girl-inquiry as the question…do you want your legs? OF COURSE YOU WANT BOTH LEGS.
OF COURSE I WOULD WANT A GIRL.
I want a girl just as I would want another boy! I want ANY of my babies…regardless of the sex! Babies are amazing. Kids are amazing. And never in the history of ever did a sane and loving parent look down at their child and say “oh but I could have loved you so much more if you were just born with a different Y chromosome setup.” Let’s be real.
(my beautiful niece!)
As far as babies….I don’t think we are done (no, I am not pregnant but I am just putting this out there! We have discussed having ONE more.) and I don’t know what I will have in the future….but I do believe that whatever I get – it will be the most perfect, most divinely chosen baby just for our family. I truly believe that all babies are hand made by God for their particular family…whether for their birth parents or their adoptive parents. I believe all parents are paired with their sons and daughters in the most profound and pure and holy way by the Creator of the universe. It might be over the top to you. Sounds ludicrous. But seriously….parenthood is not accidental. True parenthood sometimes is not even something we choose…but that chooses us! That doesn’t mean parenthood is easy. And it doesn’t mean you get what you EXPECT….but it does mean that there is a greater plan. I truly believe that.
So OF COURSE I WANT WHATEVER I GET.
(another beautiful niece!)
And in my heart, I do believe I would love to get the divine privilege of raising a strong girl. A girl smarter than me. A girl more loving than me and more beautiful than me and more encouraging than me and more EVERYTHING than me.
Do girls terrify me? Yes. Do I know how to change a girl diaper? Not really. Do I think I could figure it out? Possibly. Do I want to pay for a wedding one day? Only if it’s on an island. And if I get to go. And do I want to dress her up and buy bows and cute shoes and all that girly stuff? Absolutely. Would she probably end up wearing her brothers clothing half the time? Probably.
I dream about being a mom….whatever that entails. I dream about taking my boys to football just as much as I dream about taking a little girl to ballet. And you know what? My kids might never play football or do ballet! I might even have a little boy that wants to dance instead! Who knows!? A little girl can play football and little boys can do ballet….it doesn’t matter as long as you are teaching them to be GRATEFUL FOR THEIR GIFTS AND OPPORTUNITIES AND THE GOD WHO MADE THEM AND LOVES THEM. I dream about a little girl with long dark hair like mine….but that might never happen….even if I had six girls, it might not ever happen. I dream about Jeremy having daddy-daughter dances with a little girl and her wearing sparkly shoes….but the fact is – even if I had a daughter, she might hate sparkles. She might be too shy for dances. And Jeremy dances with our boys and it’s still adorable and sweet and I still take a million photos.
But that doesn’t change my heart. That doesn’t change what I think would be amazing. I think being a girl mom is just as amazing as being a boy mom. That’s how love works. I am a loud-and-proud boy mama right now and you know what? IT’S AMAZING. BEYOND AMAZING. (have I said “amazing” enough in this post already?!)
I think it’s awesome that my boys like to pee in the yard. I think it’s hilarious that dinosaur noises are just another language to them. I like that there are sixteen windows open on my iPhone with monster truck videos. And that legos are in my lotion jar as we speak. And that seeing little Spiderman costumes is a daily occurrence. My boys are AWESOME. They are like little puppies with endless amounts of energy and dirt and play time and muddy clothing and pockets full of worms and rocks and curiosity about paper airplanes and snakes and poop jokes.
I have NO CLUE what it is like to be a girl mom to MY little girl and even more so – I have no clue how a girl might be the same or different than my boys. They might all be exactly the same! I might just be cleaning worms out of pink pockets! But the point is – I think I am entitled to want that experience without the expectation that I would want the experience of another son less. Does that makes sense? I can want both a future son and a future daughter…independently. I can still want either one. And that doesn’t take anything away from anyone else. Or make me crazy. Or a liar.
I say all this because I think someone should say it….it’s okay to want what you want and if it never happens, to regroup and say “OK. I love and want what I have. I am full. That other situation would have been cool too. But I trust that this was exactly what was best for my family. And I am freaking happy.”
Happy Monday friends. Hope you are feeling full today 🙂