We Bowers are normal folk.
Normal folk who fight. and make up. and sometimes argue again immediately after making up. and sometimes we fight so long that we forget what we originally started fussing at each other about in the first place. and sometimes slam the fridge door just so that we can make a loud noise. and yes, we have been known to flick the photo face of the other person in a framed picture when in the heat of the moment.
That’s normal, right?
And it is also completely normal to wonder if you are normal and to ask other normal people if you are normal and to read books written by normal folks about normal things…like marriage….like the difference between boyfriends & their quirky gals….like how to cure the disagreement disease…like all that and more.
I get emails from you guys all the time asking how we manage to spend 24 hours together in the same house and what Jeremy & I fight about and how we make decisions peacefully and how we have survived having a kid and renovating a home and being completely different. So here I am to tell you our magic solution. Come closer to your monitor so you won’t miss it. I’m gonna whisper it and you can’t tell anyone. Here’s our secret: we have no clue what we are doing.
I wish I had the key to a happy marriage. I wish I knew how to keep my mouth shut. I wish I knew what prayer to say to make me have zero temper and to make my boyfriend’s fuse a couple miles longer. In all honesty, I have no reason for you to ask about our marriage. We just started this journey. We are rookies. We have VERY little figured out. Not like these guys:
When I get to 55+ years of marriage, you can ask me these questions all over again and I’ll probably have less to tell you than now. Here is all that we know: we love each other and divorce isn’t going to be an option. Literally. I will shoot & kill my darling boyfriend (love you hon) and go to jail before I sign divorce papers. We know that isn’t what everyone believes…some peope don’t believe first degree murder is a problem solver. But I’m Italian. ‘nough said. That isn’t to say that we can’t TRY to improve. We do. We definitely try. We spend dedicated quality time together and also with friends that share our same passions. We pray together. We read books together that help us in easy and small ways to get along. We attempt to show mutual respect and understand what makes the other person tick and what just ticks them off. And we have participated in group studies of some of the books so that we can share with other peeps our ups & downs & sideways days. I know some of you probably think this wouldn’t help…but it does. It’s like group therapy. For those of you wondering, here are some of the relationship books we have done together – you can click on them to purchase new or used copies 🙂
Money is definitely a big thing in every relationship…and a main point of disagreement. We personally have read some books in regards to the moolah…the links to them are below. Even if you don’t heart Jesus or believe in a Creator, these books are great for reshaping your mind in the terms of consumerism, spending, and the basic ideas of wants vs. needs. They really helped us as we renovated our home (on a very very tight budget)…and they inspired & taught us how to save, stock up and pay off.
What are we currently into? Well, we just recently decided to start a bible study together called Believing God. It’s by Beth Moore – who is a woman obviously. I didn’t know if Jeremy would feel a bit unmanly studing this one…because Beth usually does bible studies for women…but he jumped at the chance and so far, you would have no clue that this was written for the gals or by a gal. So if you are a couple that is totally on the Jesus train – this might be a good one for you as a twosome.
And I really want to break into this one too. I think my mom might have it…so the next time I’m over there I’ll have to steal borrow it.
I know this post was supposed to be about marriage books but I can’t help but include some good reads for the littlest Bower. These are the ones currently on Will’s wishlist (also known as his mother’s wishlist for her son):
So now that you got the full lowdown on our hardback situation…let’s get the review from ya’ll. Have you read anything recently worth recommending? Maybe you have a must-own baby book? Or you found a financial how-to that you can’t help but share? Perhaps you just wanna chime in on how adorable my Pappap & Mummum are? Seriously…I hope that one day Jeremy & I are able to sit down in front of my granddaughter & her spaceage 4-D reality recorder and tell her all about how much my boyfriend loves me. and how the key to marriage is putting up with horrible pregnancy emissions.