I went onto Google Analytics last night and decided to click on that section that shows you what people are searching online that lands them on your site. Big mistake. HUGE. I should have never known. And of course, I have to share it with you. Because it’s crazy bad. First of all…if you are one of these people…you know who you are…I gotta tell ya, you are either a pervert or high. Granted these are not the majority…otherwise I would need to change my content. But it’s too funny not to share so here we go. In bold are things that people are searching on the internet and it landed them somehow in some fashion on my site. I also typed my initial reaction…
ahh push labour on table birth – whoa. this had a sound affect and everything. someone is getting ready and apparently even needed to type the labor noises. Hope it went well…you will have to share your secrets because I can’t imagine laboring on a table….
fathers day post cards sexy pictures – either you want to give your dad a card with sexy pictures of himself (which is an odd way to commemorate his fatherhood) or you want to give your dad a card with sexy pictures of someone else (which is a weird way to get a sibling)….either way I suggest getting a card that would not include sexy pictures and instead substitute a photo of a golf bag or a beer keg…both options that make you look more appreciative of your dear old dad and allow him to believe he didn’t raise a perv.
hotties sexy squating chicks home alone pinterest – I don’t know what throws me more with this phrase….the part with squatting chicks or the part referencing a Macaulay Culkin movie.
girls in white panties – I only imagine the person googling this phrase to find the post about pregnancy underwear…talk about buzz kill.
how to make a flotation device with pool noodles – I hate to break it to ya but pool noodles float people.
I totally recommend bag of 3300 pound bag – when do bags even carry or weigh 3300 pounds?! Is that even possible?
invisible plane to rent for parties – hands down one of my favorites. I only hope they found one at a reasonable price that can only be seen by smart people 🙂
mens comments on breastfeeding – there is only one correct answer to this google and it is “you are an amazing woman. Can I rub your feet?”
sexy guy neck veins – didn’t even know this was a thing. next thing you know your husband comes home with neck vein implants.
what girls excatally feel in the rain – we feel drops of water….kinda like what guys excatally feel when it rains.
So those are my top ten weirdest search terms….have you fellow bloggers done this? Any other folks want to share theirs? I’d love to hear your favorite…